The Rainbow-虹(英文版)- 第63部分

〃We　say　bathing；　not　bading；〃　said　the　mother；　with　her
strange；　indifferent　dignity。　〃I　am　waiting　here　with　your
shirt。〃

At　length　shirts　were　on；　and　stockings　were　paired；　and
little　trousers　buttoned　and　little　petticoats　tied　behind。　The
besetting　cowardice　of　the　family　was　its　shirking　of　the　garter
question。

〃Where　are　your　garters；　Cassie？〃

〃I　don't　know。〃

〃Well；　look　for　them。〃

But　not　one　of　the　elder　Brangwens　would　really　face　the
situation。　After　Cassie　had　grovelled　under　all　the　furniture
and　blacked　up　all　her　Sunday　cleanliness；　to　the　infinite　grief
of　everybody；　the　garter　was　forgotten　in　the　new　washing　of　the
young　face　and　hands。

Later；　Ursula　would　be　indignant　to　see　Miss　Cassie　marching
into　church　from　Sunday　school　with　her　stocking　sluthered　down
to　her　ankle；　and　a　grubby　knee　showing。

〃It's　disgraceful！〃　cried　Ursula　at　dinner。　〃People　will
think　we're　pigs；　and　the　children　are　never　washed。〃

〃Never　mind　what　people　think；〃　said　the　mother　superbly。　〃I
see　that　the　child　is　bathed　properly；　and　if　I　satisfy　myself　I
satisfy　everybody。　She　can't　keep　her　stocking　up　and　no　garter；
and　it　isn't　the　child's　fault　she　was　let　to　go　without
one。〃

The　garter　trouble　continued　in　varying　degrees；　but　till
each　child　wore　long　skirts　or　long　trousers；　it　was　not
removed。

On　this　day　of　decorum；　the　Brangwen　family　went　to　church　by
the　high…road；　making　a　detour　outside　all　the　garden…hedge；
rather　than　climb　the　wall　into　the　churchyard。　There　was　no　law
of　this；　from　the　parents。　The　children　themselves　were　the
wardens　of　the　Sabbath　decency；　very　jealous　and　instant　with
each　other。

It　came　to　be；　gradually；　that　after　church　on　Sundays　the
house　was　really　something　of　a　sanctuary；　with　peace　breathing
like　a　strange　bird　alighted　in　the　rooms。　Indoors；　only　reading
and　tale…telling　and　quiet　pursuits；　such　as　drawing；　were
allowed。　Out　of　doors；　all　playing　was　to　be　carried　on
unobtrusively。　If　there　were　noise；　yelling　or　shouting；　then
some　fierce　spirit　woke　up　in　the　father　and　the　elder　children；
so　that　the　younger　were　subdued；　afraid　of　being
exmunicated。

The　children　themselves　preserved　the　Sabbath。　If　Ursula　in
her　vanity　sang：

　　〃Il　etait　un'　bergere
　　　Et　ron…ron…ron　petit　patapon；〃

Theresa　was　sure　to　cry：

〃That's　not　a　Sunday　song；　our　Ursula。〃

〃You　don't　know；〃　replied　Ursula；　superior。　Nevertheless；　she
wavered。　And　her　song　faded　down　before　she　came　to　the　end。

Because；　though　she　did　not　know　it；　her　Sunday　was　very
precious　to　her。　She　found　herself　in　a　strange；　undefined
place；　where　her　spirit　could　wander　in　dreams；　unassailed。

The　white…robed　spirit　of　Christ　passed　between　olive　trees。
It　was　a　vision；　not　a　reality。　And　she　herself　partook　of　the
visionary　being。　There　was　the　voice　in　the　night　calling；
〃Samuel；　Samuel！〃　And　still　the　voice　called　in　the　night。　But
not　this　night；　nor　last　night；　but　in　the　unfathomed　night　of
Sunday；　of　the　Sabbath　silence。

There　was　Sin；　the　serpent；　in　whom　was　also　wisdom。　There
was　Judas　with　the　money　and　the　kiss。

But　there　was　no　actual　Sin。　If　Ursula　slapped　Theresa
across　the　face；　even　on　a　Sunday；　that　was　not　Sin；　the
everlasting。　It　was　misbehaviour。　If　Billy　played　truant　from
Sunday　school；　he　was　bad；　he　was　wicked；　but　he　was　not　a
Sinner。

Sin　was　absolute　and　everlasting：　wickedness　and　badness　were
temporary　and　relative。　When　Billy；　catching　up　the　local
jargon；　called　Cassie　a　〃sinner〃；　everybody　detested　him。　Yet
when　there　came　to　the　Marsh　a　flippetty…floppetty　foxhound
puppy；　he　was　mischievously　christened　〃Sinner〃。

The　Brangwens　shrank　from　applying　their　religion　to　their
own　immediate　actions。　They　wanted　the　sense　of　the　eternal　and
immortal；　not　a　list　of　rules　for　everyday　conduct。　Therefore
they　were　badly…behaved　children；　headstrong　and　arrogant；
though　their　feelings　were　generous。　They　had；
moreover……intolerable　to　their　ordinary　neighbours……a
proud　gesture；　that　did　not　fit　with　the　jealous　idea　of　the
democratic　Christian。　So　that　they　were　always　extraordinary；
outside　of　the　ordinary。

How　bitterly　Ursula　resented　her　first　acquaintance　with
evangelical　teachings。　She　got　a　peculiar　thrill　from　the
application　of　salvation　to　her　own　personal　case。　〃Jesus　died
for　me；　He　suffered　for　me。〃　There　was　a　pride　and　a　thrill　in
it；　followed　almost　immediately　by　a　sense　of　dreariness。　Jesus
with　holes　in　His　hands　and　feet：　it　was　distasteful　to　her。　The
shadowy　Jesus　with　the　Stigmata：　that　was　her　own　vision。　But
Jesus　the　actual　man；　talking　with　teeth　and　lips；　telling　one
to　put　one's　finger　into　His　wounds；　like　a　villager　gloating　in
his　sores；　repelled　her。　She　was　enemy　of　those　who　insisted　on
the　humanity　of　Christ。　If　He　were　just　a　man；　living　in
ordinary　human　life；　then　she　was　indifferent。

But　it　was　the　jealousy　of　vulgar　people　which　must　insist　on
the　humanity　of　Christ。　It　was　the　vulgar　mind　which　would　allow
nothing　extra…human；　nothing　beyond　itself　to　exist。　It　was　the
dirty；　desecrating　hands　of　the　revivalists　which　wanted　to　drag
Jesus　into　this　everyday　life；　to　dress　Jesus　up　in　trousers　and
frock…coat；　to　pel　Him　to　a　vulgar　equality　of　footing。　It
was　the　impudent　suburban　soul　which　would　ask；　〃What　would
Jesus　do；　if　he　were　in　my　shoes？〃

Against　all　this；　the　Brangwens　stood　at　bay。　If　any　one；　it
was　the　mother　who　was　caught　by；　or　who　was　most　careless　of
the　vulgar　clamour。　She　would　have　nothing　extra…human。　She
never　really　subscribed；　all　her　life；　to　Brangwen's　mystical
passion。

But　Ursula　was　with　her　father。　As　she　became　adolescent；
thirteen；　fourteen；　she　set　more　and　more　against　her　mother's
practical　indifference。　To　Ursula；　there　was　something　callous；
almost　wicked　in　her　mother's　attitude。　What　did　Anna　Brangwen；
in　these　years；　care　for　God　or　Jesus　or　Angels？　She　was　the
immediate　life　of　to…day。　Children　were　still　being　born　to　her；
she　was　throng　with　all　the　little　activities　of　her　family。　And
almost　instinctively　she　resented　her　husband's　slavish　service
to　the　Church；　his　dark；　subject　hankering　to　worship　an　unseen
God。　What　did　the　unrevealed　God　matter；　when　a　man　had　a　young
family　that　needed　fettling　for？　Let　him　attend　to　the　immediate
concerns　of　his　life；　not　go　projecting　himself　towards　the
ultimate。

But　Ursula　was　all　for　the　ultimate。　She　was　always　in　revolt
against　babies　and　muddled　domesticity。　To　her　Jesus　was　another
world；　He　was　not　of　this　world。　He　did　not　thrust　His　hands
under　her　face　and；　pointing　to　His　wounds；　say：

〃Look；　Ursula　Brangwen；　I　got　these　for　your　sake。　Now　do　as
you're　told。〃

To　her；　Jesus　was　beautifully　remote；　shining　in　the
distance；　like　a　white　moon　at　sunset；　a　crescent　moon　beckoning
as　it　follows　the　sun；　out　of　our　ken。　Sometimes　dark　clouds
standing　very　far　off；　pricking　up　into　a　clear　yellow　band　of
sunset；　of　a　winter　evening；　reminded　her　of　Calvary；　sometimes
the　full　moon　rising　blood…red　upon　the　hill　terrified　her　with
the　knowledge　that　Christ　was　now　dead；　hanging　heavy　and　dead
upon　the　Cross。

On　Sundays；　this　visionary　world　came　to　pass。　She　heard　the
long　hush；　she　knew　the　marriage　of　dark　and　light　was　taking
place。　In　church；　the　Voice　sounded；　re…echoing　not　from　this
world；　as　if　the　Church　itself　were　a　shell　that　still　spoke　the
language　of　creation。

〃The　Sons　of　God　saw　the　daughters　of　men　that　they　were
fair：　and　they　took　them　wives　of　all　which　they　chose。

〃And　the　Lord　said；　My　spirit　shall　not　always　strive　with
Man；　for　that　he　also　is　flesh；　yet　his　days　shall　be　an　hundred
and　twenty　years。

〃There　were　giants　in　the　earth　in　those　days；　and　also　after
that；　when　the　Sons　of　God　came　in　unto　the　daughters　of　men；
and　they　bare　children　unto　them；　the　same　became　mighty　men
which　were　of　old；　men　of　renown。〃

Over　this　Ursula　was　stirred　as　by　a　call　from　far　off。　In
those　days；　would　not　the　Sons　of　God　have　found　her　fair；　would
she　not　have　been　taken　to　wife　by　one　of　the　Sons　of　God？　It
was　a　dream　that　frightened　her；　for　she　could　not　understand
it。

Who　were　the　sons　of　God？　Was　not　Jesus　the　only　begotten
Son？　Was　not　Adam　the　only　man　created　from　God？　Yet　there　were
men　not　begotten　by　Adam。　Who　were　these；　and　whence　did　they
e？　They　too　must　derive　from　God。　Had　God　many　offspring；
besides　Adam　and　besides　Jesus；　children　whose　origin　the
children　of　Adam　cannot　recognize？　And　perhaps　these　children；
these　sons　of　God；　had　known　no　expulsion；　no　ignominy　of　the
fall。

These　came　on　free　feet　to　the　daughters　of　men；　and　saw　they
were　fair；　and　took　them　to　wife；　so　that　the　women　conceived
and　brought　forth　men　of　renown。　This　was　a　genuine　fate。　She
moved　about　in　the　essential　days；　when　the　sons　of　God　came　in
unto　the　daughters　of　men。

Nor　would　any　parison　of　myths　destroy　her　passion　in　the
knowledge。　Jove　had　bee　a　bull；　or　a　man；　in　order　to　love　a
mortal　woman。　He　had　begotten　in　her　a　giant；　a　hero。

Very　good；　so　he　had；　in　Greece。　For　herself；　she　was　no
Grecian　woman。　Not　Jove　nor　Pan　nor　any　of　those　go