darkly； wondering from the shock； yet reserved and unfathomable；
so he laughed almost with a sob。
In a moment she was clinging safely on his back again； and he
was swimming in deep water。 She was used to his nakedness； and
to her mother's nakedness； ever since she was born。 They were
clinging to each other； and making up to each other for the
strange blow that had been struck at them。 Yet still； on other
days； he would leap again with her from the bridge； daringly；
almost wickedly。 Till at length； as he leapt； once； she dropped
forward on to his head； and nearly broke his neck； so that they
fell into the water in a heap； and fought for a few moments with
death。 He saved her； and sat on the bank； quivering。 But his
eyes were full of the blackness of death。 It was as if death had
cut between their two lives； and separated them。
Still they were not separate。 There was this curious taunting
intimacy between them。 When the fair came； she wanted to go in
the swing…boats。 He took her； and； standing up in the boat；
holding on to the irons； began to drive higher； perilously
higher。 The child clung fast on her seat。
〃Do you want to go any higher？〃 he said to her； and she
laughed with her mouth； her eyes wide and dilated。 They were
rushing through the air。
〃Yes；〃 she said； feeling as if she would turn into vapour；
lose hold of everything； and melt away。 The boat swung far up；
then down like a stone； only to be caught sickeningly up
again。
〃Any higher？〃 he called； looking at her over his shoulder；
his face evil and beautiful to her。
She laughed with white lips。
He sent the swing…boat sweeping through the air in a great
semi…circle； till it jerked and swayed at the high horizontal。
The child clung on； pale； her eyes fixed on him。 People below
were calling。 The jerk at the top had almost shaken them both
out。 He had done what he could……and he was attracting
censure。 He sat down； and let the swingboat swing itself
out。
People in the crowd cried shame on him as he came out of the
swingboat。 He laughed。 The child clung to his hand； pale and
mute。 In a while she was violently sick。 He gave her lemonade；
and she gulped a little。
〃Don't tell your mother you've been sick；〃 he said。 There was
no need to ask that。 When she got home； the child crept away
under the parlour sofa； like a sick little animal； and was a
long time before she crawled out。
But Anna got to know of this escapade； and was passionately
angry and contemptuous of him。 His golden…brown eyes glittered；
he had a strange； cruel little smile。 And as the child watched
him； for the first time in her life a disillusion came over her；
something cold and isolating。 She went over to her mother。 Her
soul was dead towards him。 It made her sick。
Still she forgot and continued to love him； but ever more
coldly。 He was at this time； when he was about twenty…eight
years old； strange and violent in his being； sensual。 He
acquired some power over Anna； over everybody he came into
contact with。
After a long bout of hostility； Anna at last closed with him。
She had now four children； all girls。 For seven years she had
been absorbed in wifehood and motherhood。 For years he had gone
on beside her； never really encroaching upon her。 Then gradually
another self seemed to assert its being within him。 He was still
silent and separate。 But she could feel him all the while ing
near upon her； as if his breast and his body were threatening
her； and he was always ing closer。 Gradually he became
indifferent of responsibility。 He would do what pleased him； and
no more。
He began to go away from home。 He went to Nottingham on
Saturdays； always alone； to the football match and to the
music…hall； and all the time he was watching； in readiness。 He
never cared to drink。 But with his hard； golden…brown eyes； so
keen seeing with their tiny black pupils； he watched all the
people； everything that happened； and he waited。
In the Empire one evening he sat next to two girls。 He was
aware of the one beside him。 She was rather small； mon； with
a fresh plexion and an upper lip that lifted from her teeth；
so that； when she was not conscious； her mouth was slightly open
and her lips pressed outwards in a kind of blind appeal。 She was
strongly aware of the man next to her； so that all her body was
still； very still。 Her face watched the stage。 Her arms went
down into her lap； very self…conscious and still。
A gleam lit up in him： should he begin with her？ Should he
begin with her to live the other； the unadmitted life of his
desire？ Why not？ He had always been so good。 Save for his wife；
he was a virgin。 And why； when all women were different？ Why；
when he would only live once？ He wanted the other life。 His own
life was barren； not enough。 He wanted the other。
Her open mouth； showing the small； irregular； white teeth；
appealed to him。 It was open and ready。 It was so vulnerable。
Why should he not go in and enjoy what was there？ The slim arm
that went down so still and motionless to the lap； it was
pretty。 She would be small； he would be able almost to hold her
in his two hands。 She would be small； almost like a child； and
pretty。 Her childishness whetted him keenly。 She would he
helpless between his hands。
〃That was the best turn we've had；〃 he said to her； leaning
over as he clapped his hands。 He felt strong and unshakeable in
himself； set over against all the world。 His soul was keen and
watchful； glittering with a kind of amusement。 He was perfectly
self…contained。 He was himself； the absolute； the rest of the
world was the object that should contribute to his being。
The girl started； turned round； her eyes lit up with an
almost painful flash of a smile； the colour came deeply in her
cheeks。
〃Yes； it eaninglessly； and she covered
her rather prominent teeth with her lips。 Then she sat looking
straight before her； seeing nothing； only conscious of the
colour burning in her cheeks。
It pricked him with a pleasant sensation。 His veins and his
nerves attended to her； she was so young and palpitating。
〃It's not such a good programme as last week's；〃 he said。
Again she half turned her face to him； and her clear； bright
eyes； bright like shallow water； filled with light； frightened；
yet involuntarily lighting and shaking with response。
〃Oh； isn't it！ I wasn't able to e last week。〃
He noted the mon accent。 It pleased him。 He knew what
class she came of。 Probably she was a warehouse…lass。 He was
glad she was a mon girl。
He proceeded to tell her about the last week's programme。 She
answered at random； very confusedly。 The colour burned in her
cheek。 Yet she always answered him。 The girl on the other side
sat remotely； obviously silent。 He ignored her。 All his address
was for his own girl； with her bright； shallow eyes and her
vulnerably opened mouth。
The talk went on； meaningless and random on her part； quite
deliberate and purposive on his。 It was a pleasure to him to
make this conversation； an activity pleasant as a fine game of
chance and skill。 He oured； but
so full of strength。 She fluttered beside his steady pressure of
warmth and his surety。
He saw the performance drawing to a close。 His senses were
alert and wilful。 He would press his advantages。 He followed her
and her plain friend down the stairs to the street。 It was
raining。
〃It's a nasty night；〃 he said。 〃Shall you e and have a
drink of something……a cup of coffee……it's early
yet。〃
〃Oh； I don't think so；〃 she said； looking away into the
night。
〃I wish you would；〃 he said； putting himself as it were at
her mercy。 There was a moment's pause。
〃e to Rollins？〃 he said。
〃No……not there。〃
〃To Carson's； then？〃
There was a silence。 The other girl hung on。 The man was the
centre of positive force。
〃Will your friend e as well？〃
There was another moment of silence； while the other girl
felt her ground。
〃No； thanks；〃 she said。 〃I've promised to meet a friend。〃
〃Another time； then？〃 he said。
〃Oh； thanks；〃 she replied； very awkward。
〃Good night；〃 he said。
〃See you later；〃 said his girl to her friend。
〃Where？〃 said the friend。
〃You know； Gertie；〃 replied his girl。
〃All right； Jennie。〃
The friend was gone into the darkness。 He turned with his
girl to the tea…shop。 They talked all the time。 He made his
sentences in sheer； almost muscular pleasure of exercising
himself with her。 He was looking at her all the time； perceiving
her； appreciating her； finding her out； gratifying himself with
her。 He could see distinct attractions in her； her eyebrows；
with their particular curve； gave him keen aesthetic pleasure。
Later on he would see her bright； pellucid eyes； like shallow
water； and know those。 And there remained the open； exposed
mouth； red and vulnerable。 That he reserved as yet。 And all the
while his eyes were on the girl； estimating and handling with
pleasure her young softness。 About the girl herself； who or what
she was； he cared nothing； he was quite unaware that she was
anybody。 She was just the sensual object of his attention。
〃Shall we go； then？〃 he said。
She rose in silence； as if acting without a mind； merely
physically。 He seemed to hold her