share just a few of the questions that keep me up late into the night （when I don？t have a party；
that is）：
Could it be true thatN has fallen for an older woman？ He was last seen waving goodbye to a
barely clothed older woman in Hampton Bays。 Interesante。 From what I hear； it wouldn？t be the
first time。 。 。 。 Is it also possible thatB andS are exploring their sapphic side？again？ Apparently
they？ve taken to nude sunbathing and to sharing a bed。 Maybe they？ve finally made it official！？
WillV be jealous？ I？ve always wondered about her and that well…groomed buzz cut。 Speaking of
buzzzzzing； little Ms。V was seen taking a late…night swim last night in a less…than…flattering kiddie
bathing suit。 Keep your eye out for her bumble…bee…on…holiday beach ensemble； ing soon to a
beach near you。 And then there？sD 。 。 。 。
I can？t even tell you how many of you have been e…mailing me about tomorrow night？s literary
salon。 Am I missing out？ I thought reading Proust in the dark was for skinny； pale boys with
coke…bottle glasses； but according to your e…mails； some hottie bookworms are ing out and
they？re looking for love 。 。 。 。 Could this be the Great Geek Matchup？ Well； just because I won？t
be there doesn？t mean I can？t help you out。 That？s just how generous I am。 So here you are； by
popular request。 。 。 。
proper etiquette at a literary salon： dos and don？ts
DO 。 。 。 pronounce it properly： it？s saaaah…lon； not the place on the corner where all the women
have long red nails and you get your hair cut。
DO 。 。 。 bring something potent and interesting to drink； that means Pernod； Chartreuse； or ouzo。
Leave the Bud at home； thanks。
DO 。 。 。 nod along to what everyone says； even if you？re too busy checking out the hot poetry
nerd across the room to actually listen。
DON？T 。 。 。 be totally silent。 It？s not school？there are no wrong answers？so just make something
up to impress people。 Or say some…thing in another language。 That never fails。
DON？T 。 。 。 be inflexible。 If fellow members ask you to try something new； remember： truly
artistic types are always willing to experiment。
DON？T 。 。 。 be surprised if things get heated。 Emotions can run high between stanzas。
Okay； kids； have a good time with your books？and let me know how it all turns out。 You know
I？m curious； and you know what they say about geeks？ They？re freaks？in bed。 Toodles！
You know you love me。
gossip girl
guess v？s not in kansas anymore
？Hurry； hurry！ Vanessa； hurry up！？
The boisterous four…year…old twins bounced ahead of her； a blur of elbows and curly hair and
Brooks Brothers swim trunks with tiny sailboats dotted all over them？Nils in red and Edgar in
blue。 They ran along the wooded path to the beach； sending a spray of sand into the air。
？Slow down！？ Vanessa readjusted the massive pink…and…kelly…green monogrammed canvas tote
bag filled with fins and masks； rolled…up Pratesi beach towels； five kinds of sun…block； Bob the
Builder activity books； juice boxes； snacks； plastic buckets and shovels； a Frisbee； a soccer ball；
and two video iPods loaded withLittle Einsteins shows。 In her other hand； she was holding a
massive navy…and…cream striped Smith & Hawken umbrella that Ms。 Morgan had insisted she
bring along。
？I said；slow down！ ？ Vanessa cried again； as the bobbing duo disappeared behind the dune ahead。
She was on the verge of screaming her sweaty head off when she decided she really didn？t
care。Whatever。 Go ahead。 Drown。 Get kidnapped。 Fuck if I care。 It would be a blessing。 The truth
was； the twins probably knew the beach as well as they knew their local Central Park playground。
It was she who was lost。
She finally reached the crest of the hill and surveyed the scene： Nils and Edgar had vanished into
the thicket of bodies crowding the beach； which didn？t seem to have one bit of sand available。
Tripping in her black All Stars？she？d pulled the laces out and wrongly assumed they？d be every
bit as fortable as flip…flops？Vanessa wove through the maze of blankets； folding chairs； and
blond； bronzed twentysome…things with the pale kids they were obviously babysitting。 She had
exhausted her last reserve of muscle power when she happened upon a four…foot…square patch of
beach。Thank God。 She dropped the overstuffed bag and heavy canvas umbrella onto the burning
hot sand； then plopped down。
？Just a lovely day at the beach；？ she muttered to herself； perfectly mimicking Ms。 Morgan？s
dulcet accent as she dug around in the basket for a blanket； which she half…heartedly spread out in
front of her without even standing up。 The tote had fallen onto its side but Vanessa didn？t bother
trying to stuff all the contents back into it。Stupid； stupid； stupid； she scolded herself as she realized
she？d neglected to bring anything for herself to do。 What she？d give to be back in Manhattan；
sitting in the cool dark of the Film Forum； watching the latest Todd Solondz movie。 Instead she
was sitting in the sand； the hot sun beating down on her； with nothing to do but pick the stubborn
dried snot globs out of the inside of the twins？ tiny nostrils or read the latest issue ofHighlights。
Reading the labels on the sunblock would actually be more fun。
Vanessa scanned the scene； searching for a flash of the twins？ blue or red swim trunks。 A few
brave nannies waded into the frigid Atlantic surf with the kids they were babysitting； gritting their
teeth but laughing。 She saw two little boys in swimsuits identical to Nils？s and Edgar？s and
wondered momentarily if anyone at the James…Morgan household would even notice if she
brought them home instead。
She？d been in the Hamptons for less than a day； but it was long enough to tell that Ms。 Morgan
was even less interested than usual in the boys； and that Mr。 James Grossman？s single check…in
phone call was pretty much the daily norm。 It was like they were all a bunch of windup robots
programmed to perform their own tasks with zero genuine interaction with or feelings about
anyone else。 Not that Vanessa was a mush； but e on。
It was just eleven in the morning； and the beach belonged to kids and their caretakers。 Vanessa
studied her peers； the army of au pairs； wondering if maybe she？d strike up a friendship。 Did the
rest of these babysitters have bosses who undressed in front of them？ She imagined the Hamptons
must be filled with people like Ms。 Morgan； and she wouldn？t mind having someone to s
bizarre employer stories with。 But looking around； it didn？t seem too likely that any of these lithe
creatures； with their perfect tans； over…size sunglasses； and manicured nails； would want to have
anything to do with her。 Or vice versa。 Basically； it was like being back at Constance Billard； the
school that had tormented her for the last three years。
Vanessa stared out at the endless ocean； suddenly fighting the urge to cry。 She kicked her
sneakers off and crossed her legs； looking in the mess of things around her for some…thing to drink。
She found a tiny box of apple juice and opened the cellophane…wrapped straw； stabbing it into the
little hole in the box angrily。
？There you are！？ Nils skipped toward her across the sand； taking a shortcut over their neighbors？
blankets and towels。
？Don？t do that；？ she scolded him。 ？Or do and get yelled at。Whatever。Where？s your brother？？
？Don？t know。？ He dropped to the ground and rummaged through the stuff that was strewn all
over the blanket。 ？Vanessa； you got sand inside my Cheez…Its。？
？Life？s rough； sometimes。？ Vanessa inspected her milk…white ankles and even paler feet。 She
almost wished she？d thought to get a pedicure。 She swiveled them off the blanket and buried them
in the sand。 ？Please； Nils； tell me you didn？t kill your brother。？
Nils grinned at her； leaned in closer； placing his sticky； sand…covered little hands on her shoulders；
and burped in her face。
An overprivileged psychopath in the making。
？The boy you？resupposed to be watching is overthere； ？a familiar whiny voice piped up。
Vanessa turned to meet the cool glare of her old class…mate； Kati Farkas。 Kati sported a
professionally sprayed？on tan and a too…small black Gucci bikini。 Beside her lay her best friend；
Isabel Coates。 Isabel was on her tummy with her pea green string bikini top off。 A tiny redheaded
girl was rubbing her back with Ban de Soleil bronzing oil。
？Oh； hello；？ Vanessa responded coldly。 Two other long…limbed mannequin types lounged beside
Isabel beneath a pink…and…white striped umbrella。 ？Are you a nanny for the summer too？？ she
asked Kati； even though she knew it couldn？t possibly be true。 Kati and Isabelwork？ Never。
Kati rolled her eyes。 ？She？s my niece。 I like watching her。 She gets us stuff and rubs on our
lotion and guys think she？s cute。？
Vanessa nodded。 She really had no response。 Then she caught sight of Edgar across the beach；
walking to the edge of the water and then screaming excitedly every time a frothy wave crashed at
his feet。 She was about to stand and grab him； but he saw her and started to run toward her instead。
She turned back to Kati。 ？Thanks for the tip；？ she said a littl