gossip girl 10 英文- 第11部分


？Male。　Ball。　Male；　ball。　Male　balls。？　

Dan　groaned　and　flopped　over　in　the　soft；　once…white；　now　coffee…and…nicotine…stained　sheets　of　
his　bed。Male　balls？　Sweating　profusely；　he　rocked　his　head　from　side　to　side。　

？You　awake　in　there？？　Rufus　Humphrey；　Dan？s　
boisterous…and…eccentric…editor…of…lesser…known…Beat…poets　dad　banged　on　the　bedroom　door　
urgently。　？Mail　call！　Mail　call！　Are　you　listening？？　

？Mail　call！？　Dan　sat　upright　in　bed。Mail　call；　you　idiot；　not　male　balls。　？I？m　awake；？　he　
announced；　his　voice　cracking。　

？Remind　me　to　tell　you　about　the　early　bird　and　the　worm　sometime！？　Rufus　stormed　into　Dan？s　
bedroom　purpose…fully；　clad　in　a　typically　demented　outfit：　a　pair　of　carpenter？s　pants　splattered　
with　the　same　dingy　off…white　paint　that　cov…ered　the　apartment？s　walls？making　them　around　
nineteen　years　old？and　an　officialBreakfast　at　Fred？s　crew　jacket　he　must　have　pilfered　from　a　pile　
of　Vanessa？s　dirty　laundry。　It　was　unzipped；　revealing　a　chest　of　furry　gray　hair。　He　held　a　massive　
cardboard　box　that　someone　had　haphazardly　sealed　with　twine；　butcher　paper；　bubble　wrap；　and　
two　kinds　of　tape。The　word　FRAGILE　was　scrawled　all　over　the　box　in　five　different　languages。　
Rufus　dropped　the　package　onto　the　bed。　？You？ve　got　mail。？　

？Jesus。？　Dan　picked　up　the　ungainly　box。　He　could　have　tossed　it　into　the　air；　it　was　so　light。　？It　
doesn？t　feel　like　there？s　even　anythinginside　here。？　

？Open　it；　open　it；？　Rufus　urged。　？Your　sister　sent　it　all　this　way　and　the　shipping　could　not　have　
been　cheap；　so　I？m　guessing　there？s　something　good　in　there。？　

？Sure。？　Dan　started　tugging　at　the　twine。　

？I　didn？t　hear　you　e　in　last　night。？　Rufus　grinned　down　at　Dan。　？Guess　your　first　meeting　
went　pretty　well；　huh？　Stayed　up　late；　debating　the　merits　of　the　minor　Shakespeare　plays；　did　
you？？　

？Something　like　that。？　Dan　burrowed　through　another　layer　of　paper　before　finally　reaching　the　
flaps　of　the　cardboard　box。　If　there　had　been　any　discussion　at　all　the　previous　night；　he　couldn？t　
remember　it。　He　could　barely　remember　anything　except　the　sensation　of　Greg？s　tongue　on　his；　
the　fuzz　of　Greg？s　facial　hair　against　his　own　stubble。　

Eek。　

？I　remember　my　old　salon　days。？　Rufus　perched　on　the　windowsill　and　watched　as　his　son　
reached　into　the　depths　of　the　cardboard　box。　Dan　pulled　out　fistful　after　fistful　of　crumpled…up　
newspaper。　？We　had　some　pretty　crazy　times　back　then。？　


？It　wasn？t　so　crazy；？　Dan　replied　defensively。　At　last　his　hand　gripped　something　firm　inside　the　
mush　of　newspaper。　Grabbing　hold　tightly；　he　pulled　on　the　narrow　object　until　it　popped　out　and　
the　loose　cardboard　shell　fell　to　the　ground；　showering　balled…up　newspaper　all　over　his　floor。　

Rufus　laughed。　？Too　bad。　You　kids　today。　No　passion；　no　guts。　I　remember　back　when　I　was　your　
age；　me　and　some　friends；　we？d　go　out　to　the　lakes；　up　in　New　England。　Camp　out；　write　poetry；　
stay　up　all　night　talking。？　

Dan　half…listened　as　he　pondered　the　object　in　his　hands：　it　was　about　two　feet　long　and　wrapped　
tightly　in　a　cocoon　of　bubble　wrap　and　packing　tape。　He　dug　at　the　wrapping　with　his　fingernail；　
anxiously　going　over　the　events　of　the　night　before。　How　far　had　he　gone　with　Greg　exactly？　How　
had　he　gotten　back　home？　He　had　almost　no　memory　of　putting　himself　to　bed。　And　he？d　woken　
up　in　just　his　favorite　pair　of　red　Gap　boxer　shorts？had　he　been　wearing　them　yesterday？　He　
couldn？t　remember。　

Rufus　had　a　faraway　look　in　his　eye　as　he　continued：　？I　remember　this　one　afternoon；　out　on　the　
lake；　things　got　pretty　heated。　We　were　all　out　skinny…dipping　and　I　had　this　very　passionate　
argument　with　Crews　Whitestone？you　know；　the　playwright。　We　were　arguing　about　the　elemental　
nature　of　truth；　and　things　just　got　so　heated；　wouldn？t　you　know　it；　before　long　there　we　were；　
rolling　around　on　the　beach；　wrestling　one　another　to　the　ground；　each　trying　to　get　the　other　to　
admit　that　his　conception　of　the　truth　was　the　superior　one。？　

Dan　was　only　half…listening　to　his　dad？s　pornographic　mumblings。　He？d　found　a　gap　in　the　
bubble　wrap　and　unwound　it　from　the　long；　ceramic　。　。　。　thing。　

？Yeah；　your　literary　get…togethers　today　are　probably　much　more　dignified；　aren？t　they？？　Rufus　
went　on。　？But　that？s　how　we　liked　it　then：　naked；　vibrant；　duking　it　out　over　the　truth。　God；　those　
were　the　days。？　

Still　trying　to　tune　out　his　dad；　Dan　tossed　the　excess　wrapping　aside　and　considered　the　vessel　in　
his　hands：　it　was　a　long；　hollow；　tapered　column　of　white　ceramic；　finished　in　a　soft；　inviting　glaze。　
It　was　about　eighteen　inches　tall；　and　open　at　the　top；　so　it　must　have　been　a　vase。　At　the　base　were　
two　small；　rounded　pieces；　one　on　either　side；　which　helped　stabilize　the　tall；　central　shaft。　It　was　a　
vase。　It　was　some…thing。　It　was　。。。well；　a　nicely　glazed　penis。　

Thiswas　his　sister？s　idea　of　a　present？　He　put　the　vase？　or　whatever　it　was？on　his　bedside　table　
and　eyed　it　warily。　

？Well；　I？d　recognize　that　anywhere。？　Rufus　chuckled；　interrupting　his　reminiscence。　He　picked　
up　the　vase　and　stroked　it　gently。　？You　know　who　made　that；　don？t　you？　Your　mother。That？s　her　
handiwork。？　

？Really？？　Dan　took　the　vase　back　from　his　father　and　studied　it　more　carefully。　Maybe　he　was　


mistaken：　maybe　it　resembled　a　rocket　ship　in　flight；　or　an　alien；　or　maybe　it　was　an　abstract　
representation　of　an　earth　mother　flanked　on　either　side　by　her　children。　

Nope。　No　matter　how　he　squinted　at　it　or　turned　his　head；　it　just　looked　like　a　big　wang。　

He　turned　the　vase　over　to　study　the　base；　where　he　found　a　tiny；　hand…carved　inscription：　？A　
totem　for　my　son。　Imparted　with　love。？　

Atotem？　What　the　hell　did　that　mean？　Was　his　mother　trying　to　tell　him　something；　something　
about　himself　that　he？d　somehow　never　managed　to　figure　out　before？　He　hadn？t　seen　his　mom　in　
years；　and　then　this？a　penis…shaped　vase　coincidentally　shows　up　in　the　mail　just　hours　after　he？d　
made　out　with　a　guy？　But　he　wasn？t　gay。　How　could　he　be　gay？　He　loved　girls。　He　had　loved　
Serena　van　der　Woodsen。　He　had　loved　Bree。　And　he　had　loved　Vanessa　most　of　all。　

Right：　the　girl　who　looks　like　a　boy。　

Was　it　possible　that　he　was　gay　and　that　everyone　but　him　had　known　it　all　along？　Was　he　one　of　
those　obviously　gay　little　boys　who　like　to　have　tea　parties　with　their　stuffed　animals　and　carry　
their　mothers？　old　cast…off　purses　to　school？　

Sighing　as　he　placed　the　vase　on　the　floor　by　his　bed；　Dan　looked　up　at　his　Dad；　who　was　lost　in　
thought。　？So；　you　were　telling　me　about　the　skinny…dipping　and　the　literary　discussion。？　Dan　
paused。　？Was　that　like；　um；　normal？　For　your　literary　conversations　to　end　up　。　。　。　with　you；　like；　
naked　with　some　other　guy？？　

？Normal！？　Rufus　laughed　heartily。　？Believe　me；　when　it　es　to　literature　there？s　nothing　more　
normal。　Passion。　Fire。　When　you？re　young；　you？re　just　filled　with　it。　It？s　got　to　play　out　
somehow。？　

Dan　nodded；　brow　furrowed。　？So　you？re　saying　that；　in　your　experience；　it？s　not　unmon　for　
a　literary　salon　to　turn　into　a　naked　same…sex　orgy？？　

？More　mon　than　you　think；　sonny。？　Rufus　ruffled　his　son？s　mussed　bed…head　
affectionately。　？Too　bad　times　have　changed。？　

　Yeah；　too　bad。　

s　and　b　peek　into　the　fun…house　mirror　

？Hello？　Hello？？　Blair　Waldorf　and　Serena　van　der　Woodsen　swept　into　the　sparsely　decorated　
foyer　of　Bailey　Winter？s　East　Hampton　midcentury…modern　retreat。　Outside　the　hydrangeas　were　


blooming；　the　pollen　was　flying；　and　the　temperature　was　rising；　but　inside　it　felt　cool；　clean；　and　
crisp。　Blair　dropped　her　salmon…pink　leather　Tod？s　carryall　onto　the　zebrawood　floor　and　called　
out　again；　？Hellooooo？？　

？Anybody　home？？　Serena　pushed　her　vintage　wood…paneled　Chanel　sunglasses　on　top　of　her　
head。　She　was　used　to　houses　full　of　antiques；　but　if　she　had　a　summer　house；　she？d　want　it　to　
look　just　like　this？sleek；　clean；　and　antiqueless。　

？You？re　here；　you？re　here；　you？re　here！？　The　couturier　to　the　jet　set　glided　down　the　polished　
ebony　staircase　like　an　oversize　toddler　on　Christmas　morning；　clapping　his　hands　delightedly　and　
shouting　over　the　chorus　of　yelps　from　the　five　pugs　following　in　his　wake。　

Blair　sped　three　air　kisses　with　the　designer　and　noticed；　for　the　first　time；　that　he　was　so　
short　his　head　was　exactly　level　with　her　chin。　After　providing　the　costumes　forBreakfast　at　Fred？s；　
the　teen　remake　of　the　Audrey　Hepburn　classicBreakfast　at　Tiffany？s　starring　none　other　than　
Blair？s　oldest　and　best　friend；　Serena；　Bailey　had　invited　Blair　and　Serena　to　be　his　muses　at　his　
Georgica　Pond　estate　for　the　summer。　They　would　inspire　his　new　line；　Summer/Winter　by　Bailey　
Winter；　a　one…show…only　collection　of　his　most　exciting　summer　and　winter　looks。　

？Thank　you　so　much　for　having　us；？　Blair　purred　as　the　five　little　dogs　sniffed　enthusiastically　at　
her　pale　pink　South　of　the　Highway？polished　toes；　clad　that　day　in？of　course？　white　linen　Bailey　
Winter　espadrilles。　

？Don？t　be　shy！？　the　designer　cried　over　Blair？s　right　shoulder；　startling　Serena；　who　was　still　
standing　on　the　threshold；　taking　in　the　scene。　？e　here　and　give　me　a　big　kissie…p