miss it when it’s over。
—GG
q： Dear Gossip Girl；
My girlfriend and I are visiting her hometown； and she’s been acting kind of strange。 She hasn’t introduced me to any of her old friends from high school。 It’s like she’s trying to hide something。 What do you think？
—New Boy
a： Dear NB；
There are a few possible explanations： Maybe she’s shy。 Maybe she’s hiding some skeletons in her closet。 Maybe she just wants to keep you all to herself。 Or maybe she just doesn’t want to introduce a paranoid weirdo to her friends。
—GG
theory in action
In literary theory； a liminal space is somewhere in between—a place that’s neither here nor there。 I think it’s safe to say we’re at a liminal space in our lives： We’re not teenagers； but we’re not quite adults。 At times we’re being chastised by our parents for not calling； at others； we’re starting internships at panies we might want to work for someday； in our real； adult lives。 My advice： Instead of worrying about who you were or what you’ll bee； try to just enjoy the moment。
You know you love me；
gossip girl
boys should always ask for directions
Nate lumbered into the kitchen of his town house Friday morning； in search of food。 His raging booze and pot hangover had finally dissipated enough for him to roll out of bed。 He felt disgusting； like one of the frogs that lived at the bottom of the pond at Deep Springs。
How far our golden boy has fallen…。
He opened the door to the Sub…Zero refrigerator and pulled out a Jell…O chocolate pudding snack pack。 Not bothering to get a spoon； he tore open the foil wrapper and licked the top of the pudding。 It was good。 And simple。 Just the way life should be。 Life only got plicated once you started interacting with people。 But who needed that when he had food； shelter； and plenty of pudding and Pop…Tarts？
Nate reached into the pocket of his cords and pulled out the roach that had been stuck in the folds of his pocket。 He’d slept in them last night because it had seemed like too much effort to change。 This was the last of his supply。 He’d definitely have to call Jeremy or Anthony for a hookup； which was unfortunate； because he didn’t want any human contact。 He wasn’t very good pany right now。 Chips was dead。 He’d hurt Serena。 Blair had a boyfriend。 The three people he cared about most in the world； and he couldn’t reach out to any of them。
The past few days had gone by in a blur。 He liked the way the hours bled into each other in front of the television； especially after he fired up his bong。 Oprah had featured teen entrepreneurs the other day。 There was one kid who made jellyfish tanks instead of going to college。 Maybe he could drop out of school and do something like that。
Nate inhaled deeply from the joint。 He sat at the large marble island in the center of his family’s French country…style kitchen； feeling contented。 Maybe this was happiness。
And maybe someone needs to change his pants and climb out of his pot haze？
Just then； the doorbell rang a pleasant three…tone chime。 Fuck。 Nate ignored it and took another hit。 Then he felt his iPhone buzzing in his pocket。 He slipped it out and glanced at the display。 Chuck。
“Hello？” Nate croaked。
“Open the door；” Chuck said。
“No；” Nate said lamely。 He didn’t want Chuck to see him in this state。 “I’m in the shower；” he added nonsensically。
“No； you’re not；” Chuck responded matter…of…factly as the chime filled the house again。 It didn’t sound pleasant at all anymore。 It made Nate feel like his brain was going to explode。
He sulkily pulled open the large oak door and crossed his arms。 Chuck pulled off his Gucci aviators and coolly appraised Nate。 “You’re a mess；” he said finally。
Thank you； Mr。 Observant。
Chuck brushed past him through the entryway and into the kitchen。 Nate trailed behind。 It wasn’t like he had a choice。 Chuck wrinkled his nose at the disarray。 A joint lay on the counter； a pizza box and some random takeout containers were shoved in the sink； and a pile of dirty shirts formed a messy trail from the kitchen to the winding staircase that led to Nate’s room。 This was what happened when he was left to his own devices。 His parents had gone on their annual vacation to St。 Barts a few days ago—they’d postponed their trip because of Chips’s funeral—and their maid； Regina； was on vacation until tomorrow。
“What are you doing here？” Nate asked lamely as he kicked one of the T…shirts out of the way。
“Inviting myself over for a cocktail？” Chuck said sarcastically。 He shook his head in annoyed frustration； as if he were disappointed in Nate。 Join the club。 Nate was disappointed in himself。
Chuck walked to the stainless steel Sub…Zero refrigerator； pulled out a Corona； and pried the cap off with his teeth； a trick all Deep Springs students learned their first week on campus。 “This will do；” he said； taking a small sip and holding it out to Nate in a mock toast。
“Can I offer you something？” he asked politely； as if Nate had just randomly shown up in Chuck’s kitchen。
“No。” Nate shook his head。 “Listen； Chuck； I’m kind of busy。 Why are you here？”
Chuck raised an eyebrow。 “You know； Nathaniel； I’ve been thinking a lot about you；” he began； as if he were ready to barrel into a speech on philosophy； like he usually did after a few ginger beers back at Deep Springs。 “You won’t answer my calls。 I saw you partying pretty hard on New Year’s。 And you look like you haven’t stopped；” Chuck said； taking note of the empty cans on the granite counter。 “What the fuck is up？” He perched on one of the stools and raised a dark eyebrow。
Nate sighed。 Chuck obviously wasn’t going to leave until he’d heard his life story。 “I hooked up with Serena the other night；” he finally admitted。
Chuck raised a hand up for a high five； impressed。 Nate kept his arms firmly at his sides。 Chuck shrugged； lowering his hand。 “I fail to see why that’s a bad thing。 After all； you’ve known her forever； you lost your virginity to her； she’s always been there for you…。 I mean； what’s the problem？”
“I know。” Nate sighed heavily and sat at the table； his forehead cradled in his hands。 He was just so fucking confused。 Serena was great。 Blair was great。 Blair had a boyfriend。 Both of them hated him。
“Technical difficulties？” Chuck asked。
Nate shook his head。 “The next morning； I brought up Blair； and Serena just totally closed off and kicked me out。 She probably thinks I still have feelings for Blair。” Nate paused。 “And I guess I do； even though Blair has a boyfriend。”
“You have a hard life； Nathaniel；” Chuck scoffed。
“I know I’m being a pussy。 But every time I e home； I make a mess。 Maybe I’m better off not ing home。 Just leaving New York totally；” Nate said bluntly。 Only a year ago； it would have felt extremely gay to talk about his emotions with another guy。 But now； after all his time at Deep Springs； he was okay with it。 Maybe he needed to get back there—and never leave。
“What would El Capitan say？” Chuck prodded。
Nate sat up； suddenly remembering the letter Chips’s sister had given him。 He hadn’t felt ready to open it before。 He’d needed more time to process things。
And by “process” he means smoke and drink himself into oblivion。
“The letter；” Nate said simply。 Maybe Chips did have something to say。 For the first time since the funeral； he felt optimistic。
“Good idea。 I’ll let you be alone；” Chuck said； finishing off his beer and sliding off the stool。 “Look； I’m heading to Aspen tomorrow。 You should e。 Or at least promise you’re not going to freak out again。 Okay？” Chuck locked eyes with Nate。
“Thanks； man。” Nate walked him to the door。 “I’ll think about Aspen；” he lied to Chuck’s retreating back。 Then he ran upstairs and yanked open the top drawer of his Chippendale desk。 He pulled out the wrinkled cream envelope。 It felt weighted and heavy。 Instantly； Nate knew what it was。
He slid his index finger under the envelope flap； ripped it open； and allowed Chips’s antique silver pass to drop into his palm。 It looked tarnished and worn and felt reassuringly heavy。 Chips only trusted his pass； believing puter navigational systems made people lazy and made them forget what it was like to trust their own minds。 Nate had been freaked out at first to head out onto the ocean with no puter system； but soon realized that Chips was right： When you had nothing else to trust； you had to trust yourself。
He pulled out the ivory card stock that acpanied the pass； written in Chips’s spiky…scrawly handwriting。
Nathaniel—
Thanks for ing on the journey； and I’m glad you learned something from this old man。 Remember： Read the pass； and stay the course。
Nate sighed； disappointed。 All of Chips’s lessons were summed up in two sentences。 He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting。
A self…help manual？
He knew what Chips meant： that the pass only gave you directions—it was up to you to interpret the directions。 He wished charting his life was as easy as following a map。 He glanced down at the pass； which had led Chips in the right direction for years。 Maybe it did have some sort of power。 Maybe he could use it to hel