slide between her fingers。 “This body didn’t belong to Pet； but there’s nobody else to claim it。 We waited
to make sure； Wanda。 We tried to wake her up almost as long as we tried with Jodi。”
“Jodi？ What happened to Jodi？” I chirped； my little voice going higher； like a bird’s； with anxiety。 I
struggled to get up； and Ian pulled me—it took no effort； no strength to move my tiny new body—into a
sitting position with his arm supporting me。 I could see all the faces then。
Doc； no more tears in his eyes。 Jeb； peeking around Doc； his expression satisfied and burning with
curiosity at the same time。 Next； a woman I didn’t recognize for a second because her face was more
animated than I’d ever seen it； and I hadn’t seen it much anyway—Mandy； the former Healer。 Closer to
me； Jamie； with his bright； excited smile； Melanie beside him； and Jared behind her； his hands around her
waist。 I knew that his hands would never feel right unless they were touching her body—my
It made me sorry to realize that I still loved Jared。 I wasn’t free of that； wasn’t free of jealousy for the
body he loved。 My glance flickered back to Mel。 I saw the rueful twist of the mouth that used to be mine；
and knew she understood。
I continued quickly around the cluster of faces circling my bed； while Doc； after a pause； answered my
question。
Trudy and Geoffrey； Heath； Paige and Andy。 Brandt； even…
“Jodi didn’t respond。 We kept trying as long as we could。”
Was Jodi gone； then？ I wondered； my inexperienced heart throbbing。 I was giving the poor frail thing
such a rough awakening。
Heidi and Lily； Lily smiling a pained little smile—none the less sincere for the pain…
“We were able to keep her hydrated； but we had no way to feed her。 We were worried about
atrophy—her muscles； her brain…”
While my new heart ached harder than it had ever ached—ached for a woman I’d never known—my
eyes continued around the circle and then froze。
Jodi； clinging to Kyle’s side； stared back at me。
She smiled tentatively； and suddenly I recognized her。
“Sunny！”
“I got to stay；” she said； not quite smug but almost。 “Just like you。” She glanced at Kyle’s face—which
was more stoic than I was used to seeing it—and her voice turned sad。 “I’m trying； though。 I am looking
for her。 I will keep looking。”
“Kyle had us put Sunny back when it looked like we would lose Jodi；” Doc continued quietly。
I stared at Sunny and Kyle for a moment； stunned； and then finished the circle。
Ian was watching me with a strange bination of joy and nervousness。 His face was higher than it
should have been； bigger than it used to be。 But his eyes were still the blue I remembered。 The anchor
that held me to this planet。
“You okay in there？” he asked。
“I… I don’t know；” I admitted。 “This feels very… weird。 Every bit as weird as switching species。 So
much weirder than I would have thought。 I… I don’t know。”
My heart fluttered again； looking into those eyes； and this was no memory of another lifetime’s love。 My
mouth felt dry； and my stomach quivered。 The place where his arm touched my back felt more alive than
Kyle had shuffled closer； a grin spreading across his face。 Sunny’s smile was the smile of a
coconspirator。
How much No Pain had Doc given me？ Everything was glowing。
Ian brushed the cloud of golden hair back from my face and laid his hand on my cheek。 His hand was so
big just the palm covered from my jaw to my forehead； the contact sent a jolt of electricity through my
silvery skin。 It tingled after that first jolt； and the pit of my stomach tingled along with it。
I could feel a warm flush pinking my cheeks。 My heart had never been broken before； but it had also
never flown。 It made me shy； I had a hard time finding my voice。
“I suppose I could do that；” I whispered。 “If it makes you happy。”
“That’s not good enough； actually；” Ian disagreed。 “It has to makeyou happy； too。”
I could only meet his gaze for a few seconds at a time； the shyness； so new and confusing to me； had my
eyes dropping to my lap again and again。
“I… think it might；” I agreed。 “I think it might make me very； very happy。”
Happy and sad； elated and miserable； secure and afraid； loved and denied； patient and angry； peaceful
and wild； plete and empty… all of it。 I would feel everything。 It would all be mine。
Ian coaxed my face up until I looked him in the eyes； my cheeks flushing darker。
“Then you will stay。”
He kissed me； right in front of everyone； but I forgot the audience quickly。 This was easy and right； no
division； no confusion； no objection； just Ian and me； the molten rock moving through this new body；
melding it into the pact。
“I will stay；” I agreed。
And my tenth life began。
EPILOGUE
Continued
Life and love went on in the last human outpost on the planet Earth； but things did not stay exactly the
same。
I was not the same。
I’d inherited a great deal of grief for Cloud Spinner。 I missed the mother I’d never known and mourned
for her suffering now。 Perhaps there could be no joy on this planet without an equal weight of pain to
balance it out on some unknown scale。
I’d inherited unexpected limitations。 I was used to a body that was strong and fast and tall—a body that
could run for miles； go without food and water； lift heavy weights； and reach high shelves。 This body was
weak—and not just physically。 This body seized up with crippling shyness every time I was unsure of
myself； which seemed to be often these days。
I’d inherited a different role in the human munity。 People carried things for me now and let me pass
first into a room。 They gave me the easiest chores and then； half the time； took the work right out of my
hands anyway。 Worse than that； I needed the help。 My muscles were soft and not used to labor。 I tired
easily； and my attempts to hide that fooled no one。 I probably couldn’t have run a mile without stopping。
There was more to this easy treatment than just my physical weakness； though。 I was used to a pretty
face； but one that people were able to look at with fear； mistrust； even hatred。 My new face defied such
emotions。
People touched my cheeks often； or put their fingers under my chin； holding my face up to see it better。 I
was frequently patted on my head （which was in easy reach； since I was shorter than everyone but the
children）； and my hair was stroked so regularly that I stopped noticing when it happened。 Those who had
never accepted me before did this as often as my friends。 Even Lucina put up only a token resistance
when her children began following me like two adoring puppies。 Freedom； in particular； crawled onto my
lap at every opportunity； burrowing his face in my hair。 Isaiah was too big for such displays of affection；
but he liked to hold my hand—just the same size as his—while chattering excitedly with me about
Spiders and Dragons； soccer and raids。 The children still wouldn’t go anywhere near Melanie； their
mother had frightened them too thoroughly before for her reassurances to change things now。
Even Maggie and Sharon； though they still tried not to look at me； could not maintain their former rigidity
in my presence。
My body was not the only change。 The monsoons came late to the desert； and I was glad。
For one thing； I’d never smelled the rain on the creosotes before—I could only vaguely remember it
from my memories of Melanie’s memories； a very dim trail of recall indeed—and now the scent washed
out the musty caves； left them smelling fresh and almost spicy。 The scent clung to my hair and followed
me everywhere。 I smelled it in my dreams。
Also； Petals Open to the Moon had lived in Seattle all her life； and the unbroken streak of blue skies and
blistering heat was as bewildering—almostnumbing —to my system as the dark press of heavy overcast
skies would have been to any of these desert dwellers。 The clouds were exciting； a change from the
bland； featureless pale blue。 They had depth and movement。 They made pictures in the sky。
There was a great deal of reshuffling to be done in Jeb’s caves； and the move to the big game
room—now the munal sleeping quarters—was good preparation for more permanent arrangements
to follow。
When the rains ended； Jamie would move into a free corner in Brandt and Aaron’s cave。 Melanie and
Jared had kicked Jamie out of their room and into Ian’s before I’d been reborn in Pet’s body； Jamie
wasn’t so young that they’d needed to give him any excuse。
Kyle was working on widening the small crevice that had been Walter’s sleeping space so that it would
be ready when the desert was dry again。 It really wasn’t big enough for more than one； and Kyle would
not be staying there alone。
At night in the game room； Sunny slept curled into a ball against Kyle’s chest； like a kitten who was
friends with a big dog—a rottweiler whom she trusted implicitly。 Sunny wasalways with Kyle。 I couldn’t
remember ever seeing them unattached since I’d opened these silver gray eyes for the fi