not suspicious。 She must be attributing the change in her vision to some
maneuver of the tracker's rather than a betrayal by me。
Jasper walked silently beside me； his hand on the small of my back； as if
he were guiding me。 I pretended a lack of interest in the first few
airport cafes； my head scanning for what I really wanted。 And there it
was； around the corner； out of Alice's sharp sight： the levelthree
ladies' room。
〃Do you mind？〃 I asked Jasper as we passed。 〃I'll just be a moment。〃
〃I'll be right here；〃 he said。
As soon as the door shut behind me； I was running。 I remembered the time
I had gotten lost from this bathroom； because it had two exits。
Outside the far door it was only a short sprint to the elevators； and if
Jasper stayed where he said he would； I'd never be in his line of sight。
I didn't look behind me as I ran。 This was my only chance； and even if he
saw me； I had to keep going。 People stared； but I ignored them。 Around
the corner the elevators were waiting； and I dashed forward； throwing my
hand between the closing doors of a full elevator headed down。 I squeezed
in beside the irritated passengers； and checked to make sure that the
button for level one had been pushed。 It was already lit； and the doors
closed。
As soon as the door opened I was off again； to the sound of annoyed
murmurs behind me。 I slowed myself as I passed the security guards by the
luggage carousels； only to break into a run again as the exit doors came
into view。 I had no way of knowing if Jasper was looking for me yet。
I would have only seconds if he was following my scent。 I jumped out the
automatic doors； nearly smacking into the glass when they opened too
slowly。
Along the crowded curb there wasn't a cab in sight。
I had no time。 Alice and Jasper were either about to realize I was gone；
or they already had。 They would find me in a heartbeat。
A shuttle to the Hyatt was just closing its doors a few feet behind me。
〃Wait！〃 I called； running； waving at the driver。
〃This is the shuttle to the Hyatt；〃 the driver said in confusion as he
opened the doors。
〃Yes；〃 I huffed； 〃that's where I'm going。〃 I hurried up the steps。
He looked askance at my luggageless state； but then shrugged； not caring
enough to ask。
Most of the seats were empty。 I sat as far from the other travelers as
possible； and watched out the window as first the sidewalk； and then the
airport； drifted away。 I couldn't help imagining Edward； where he would
stand at the edge of the road when he found the end of my trail。 I
couldn't cry yet； I told myself。 I still had a long way to go。
My luck held。 In front of the Hyatt； a tiredlooking couple was getting
their last suitcase out of the trunk of a cab。 I jumped out of the
shuttle and ran to the cab； sliding into the seat behind the driver。 The
tired couple and the shuttle driver stared at me。
I told the surprised cabbie my mother's address。 〃I need to get there as
soon as possible。〃
〃That's in Scottsdale；〃 he plained。
I threw four twenties over the seat。
〃Will that be enough？〃
〃Sure； kid； no problem。〃
I sat back against the seat； folding my arms across my lap。 The familiar
city began to rush around me； but I didn't look out the windows。 I
exerted myself to maintain control。 I was determined not to lose myself
at this point； now that my plan was successfully pleted。 There was no
point in indulging in more terror； more anxiety。 My path was set。 I just
had to follow it now。
So； instead of panicking； I closed my eyes and spent the twenty minutes'
drive with Edward。
I imagined that I had stayed at the airport to meet Edward。 I visualized
how I would stand on my toes； the sooner to see his face。 How quickly；
how gracefully he would move through the crowds of people separating us。
And then I would run to close those last few feet between us — reckless
as always — and I would be in his marble arms； finally safe。
I wondered where we would have gone。 North somewhere； so he could be
outside in the day。 Or maybe somewhere very remote； so we could lay in
the sun together again。 I imagined him by the shore； his skin sparkling
like the sea。 It wouldn't matter how long we had to hide。 To be trapped
in a hotel room with him would be a kind of heaven。 So many questions I
still had for him。 I could talk to him forever； never sleeping； never
leaving his side。
I could see his face so clearly now… almost hear his voice。 And； despite
all the horror and hopelessness； I was fleetingly happy。 So involved was
I in my escapist daydreams； I lost all track of the seconds racing by。
〃Hey； what was the number？〃
The cabbie's question punctured my fantasy； letting all the colors run
out of my lovely delusions。 Fear； bleak and hard； was waiting to fill the
empty space they left behind。
〃Fiftyeight twentyone。〃 My voice sounded strangled。 The cabbie looked
at me； nervous that I was having an episode or something。
〃Here we are； then。〃 He was anxious to get me out of his car； probably
hoping I wouldn't ask for my change。
〃Thank you；〃 I whispered。 There was no need to be afraid； I reminded
myself。 The house was empty。 I had to hurry； my mom was waiting for me；
frightened； depending on me。
I ran to the door； reaching up automatically to grab the key under the
eave。 I unlocked the door。 It was dark inside； empty； normal。 I ran to
the phone； turning on the kitchen light on my way。 There； on the
whiteboard； was a tendigit number written in a small； neat hand。 My
fingers stumbled over the keypad； making mistakes。 I had to hang up and
start again。 I concentrated only on the buttons this time； carefully
pressing each one in turn。 I was successful。 I held the phone to my ear
with a shaking hand。 It rang only once。
〃Hello； Bella；〃 that easy voice answered。 〃That was very quick。 I'm
impressed。〃
〃Is my mom all right？〃
〃She's perfectly fine。 Don't worry； Bella； I have no quarrel with her。
Unless you didn't e alone； of course。〃 Light； amused。
〃I'm alone。〃 I'd never been more alone in my entire life。
〃Very good。 Now； do you know the ballet studio just around the corner
from your home？〃
〃Yes。 I know how to get there。〃
〃Well； then； I'll see you very soon。〃
I hung up。
I ran from the room； through the door； out into the baking heat。
There was no time to look back at my house； and I didn't want to see it
as it was now — empty； a symbol of fear instead of sanctuary。 The last
person to walk through those familiar rooms was my enemy。
From the corner of my eye； I could almost see my mother standing in the
shade of the big eucalyptus tree where I'd played as a child。 Or kneeling
by the little plot of dirt around the mailbox； the cemetery of all the
flowers she'd tried to grow。 The memories were better than any reality I
would see today。 But I raced away from them； toward the corner； leaving
everything behind me。
I felt so slow； like I was running through wet sand — I couldn't seem to
get enough purchase from the concrete。 I tripped several times； once
falling； catching myself with my hands； scraping them on the sidewalk；
and then lurching up to plunge forward again。 But at last I made it to
the corner。 Just another street now； I ran； sweat pouring down my face；
gasping。 The sun was hot on my skin； too bright as it bounced off the
white concrete and blinded me。 I felt dangerously exposed。 More fiercely
than I would have dreamed I was capable of； I wished for the green；
protective forests of Forks… of home。
When I rounded the last corner； onto Cactus； I could see the studio；
looking just as I remembered it。 The parking lot in front was empty； the
vertical blinds in all the windows drawn。 I couldn't run anymore — I
couldn't breathe； exertion and fear had gotten the best of me。 I thought
of my mother to keep my feet moving； one in front of the other。
As I got closer； I could see the sign inside the door。 It was handwritten
on hot pink paper； it said the dance studio was closed for spring break。
I touched the handle； tugged on it cautiously。 It was unlocked。 I fought
to catch my breath； and opened the door。
The lobby was dark and empty； cool； the air conditioner thrumming。 The
plastic molded chairs were stacked along the walls； and the carpet
smelled like shampoo。 The west dance floor was dark； I could see through
the open viewing window。 The east dance floor； the bigger room； was lit。
But the blinds were closed on the window。
Terror seized me so strongly that I was literally trapped by it。 I
couldn't make my feet move forward。
And then my mother's voice called。
〃Bella？ Bella？〃 That same tone of hysterical panic。 I sprinted to the
door； to the sound of her voice。
〃Bella； you scared me！ Don't you ever do that to me again！〃 Her voice
continued as I ran into the long； highceilinged room。
I stared around me； trying to find where her voice was ing from。 I
heard her laugh； and I whirled to the sound。
There she was； on the TV screen； tousling my hair in relief。 It was
Thanksgiving； and I was twelve。 We'd gone to s