either side of my head and leaned forward; forcing me to press back
against the door。 He leaned in even closer; his face inches from mine。 I
had no room to escape。
〃Now;〃 he breathed; and just his smell disturbed my thought processes;
〃what exactly are you worrying about?〃
〃Well; um; hitting a tree —〃 I gulped 〃— and dying。 And then getting
sick。〃
He fought back a smile。 Then he bent his head down and touched his cold
lips softly to the hollow at the base of my throat。
〃Are you still worried now?〃 he murmured against my skin。
〃Yes。〃 I struggled to concentrate。 〃About hitting trees and getting sick。〃
His nose drew a line up the skin of my throat to the point of my chin。
His cold breath tickled my skin。
〃And now?〃 His lips whispered against my jaw。
〃Trees;〃 I gasped。 〃Motion sickness。〃
He lifted his face to kiss my eyelids。 〃Bella; you don't really think I
would hit a tree; do you?〃
〃No; but I might。〃 There was no confidence in my voice。 He smelled an
easy victory。
He kissed slowly down my cheek; stopping just at the corner of my mouth。
〃Would I let a tree hurt you?〃 His lips barely brushed against my
trembling lower lip。
〃No;〃 I breathed。 I knew there was a second part to my brilliant defense;
but I couldn't quite call it back。
〃You see;〃 he said; his lips moving against mine。 〃There's nothing to be
afraid of; is there?〃
〃No;〃 I sighed; giving up。
Then he took my face in his hands almost roughly; and kissed me in
earnest; his unyielding lips moving against mine。
There really was no excuse for my behavior。 Obviously I knew better by
now。 And yet I couldn't seem to stop from reacting exactly as I had the
first time。 Instead of keeping safely motionless; my arms reached up to
twine tightly around his neck; and I was suddenly welded to his stone
figure。 I sighed; and my lips parted。
He staggered back; breaking my grip effortlessly。
〃Damn it; Bella!〃 he broke off; gasping。 〃You'll be the death of me; I
swear you will。〃
I leaned over; bracing my hands against my knees for support。
〃You're indestructible;〃 I mumbled; trying to catch my breath。
〃I might have believed that before I met you。 Now let's get out of here
before I do something really stupid;〃 he growled。
He threw me across his back as he had before; and I could see the extra
effort it took for him to be as gentle as he was。 I locked my legs around
his waist and secured my arms in a choke hold around his neck。
〃Don't forget to close your eyes;〃 he warned severely。
I quickly tucked my face into his shoulder blade; under my own arm; and
squeezed my eyes shut。
And I could hardly tell we were moving。 I could feel him gliding along
beneath me; but he could have been strolling down the sidewalk; the
movement was so smooth。 I was tempted to peek; just to see if he was
really flying through the forest like before; but I resisted。 It wasn't
worth that awful dizziness。 I contented myself with listening to his
breath e and go evenly。
I wasn't quite sure we had stopped until he reached back and touched my
hair。
〃It's over; Bella。〃
I dared to open my eyes; and; sure enough; we were at a standstill。 I
stiffly unlocked my stranglehold on his body and slipped to the ground;
landing on my backside。
〃Oh!〃 I huffed as I hit the wet ground。
He stared at me incredulously; evidently not sure whether he was still
too mad to find me funny。 But my bewildered expression pushed him over
the edge; and he broke into a roar of laughter。
I picked myself up; ignoring him as I brushed the mud and bracken off the
back of my jacket。 That only made him laugh harder。 Annoyed; I began to
stride off into the forest。
I felt his arm around my waist。
〃Where are you going; Bella?〃
〃To watch a baseball game。 You don't seem to be interested in playing
anymore; but I'm sure the others will have fun without you。〃
〃You're going the wrong way。〃
I turned around without looking at him; and stalked off in the opposite
direction。 He caught me again。
〃Don't be mad; I couldn't help myself。 You should have seen your face。〃
He chuckled before he could stop himself。
〃Oh; you're the only one who's allowed to get mad?〃 I asked; raising my
eyebrows。
〃I wasn't mad at you。〃
〃'Bella; you'll be the death of me'?〃 I quoted sourly。
〃That was simply a statement of fact。〃
I tried to turn away from him again; but he held me fast。
〃You were mad;〃 I insisted。
〃Yes。〃
〃But you just said —〃
〃That I wasn't mad at you。 Can't you see that; Bella?〃 He was suddenly
intense; all trace of teasing gone。 〃Don't you understand?〃
〃See what?〃 I demanded; confused by his sudden mood swing as much as his
words。
〃I'm never angry with you — how could I be? Brave; trusting… warm as you
are。〃
〃Then why?〃 I whispered; remembering the black moods that pulled him away
from me; that I'd always interpreted as welljustified frustration —
frustration at my weakness; my slowness; my unruly human reactions…
He put his hands carefully on both sides of my face。 〃I infuriate
myself;〃 he said gently。 〃The way I can't seem to keep from putting you
in danger。 My very existence puts you at risk。 Sometimes I truly hate
myself。 I should be stronger; I should be able to —〃
I placed my hand over his mouth。 〃Don't。〃
He took my hand; moving it from his lips; but holding it to his face。
〃I love you;〃 he said。 〃It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing; but it's
still true。〃
It was the first time he'd said he loved me — in so many words。 He might
not realize it; but I certainly did。
〃Now; please try to behave yourself;〃 he continued; and he bent to softly
brush his lips against mine。
I held properly still。 Then I sighed。
〃You promised Chief Swan that you would have me home early; remember?
We'd better get going。〃
〃Yes; ma'am。〃
He smiled wistfully and released all of me but one hand。 He led me a few
feet through the tall; wet ferns and draping moss; around a massive
hemlock tree; and we were there; on the edge of an enormous open field in
the lap of the Olympic peaks。 It was twice the size of any baseball
stadium。
I could see the others all there; Esme; Emmett; and Rosalie; sitting on a
bare outcropping of rock; were the closest to us; maybe a hundred yards
away。 Much farther out I could see Jasper and Alice; at least a quarter
of a mile apart; appearing to throw something back and forth; but I never
saw any ball。 It looked like Carlisle was marking bases; but could they
really be that far apart?
When we came into view; the three on the rocks rose。
Esme started toward us。 Emmett followed after a long look at Rosalie's
back; Rosalie had risen gracefully and strode off toward the field
without a glance in our direction。 My stomach quivered uneasily in
response。
〃Was that you we heard; Edward?〃 Esme asked as she approached。
〃It sounded like a bear choking;〃 Emmett clarified。
I smiled hesitantly at Esme。 〃That was him。〃
〃Bella was being unintentionally funny;〃 Edward explained; quickly
settling the score。
Alice had left her position and was running; or dancing; toward us。 She
hurtled to a fluid stop at our feet。 〃It's time;〃 she announced。
As soon as she spoke; a deep rumble of thunder shook the forest beyond
us; and then crashed westward toward town。
〃Eerie; isn't it?〃 Emmett said with easy familiarity; winking at me。
〃Let's go。〃 Alice reached for Emmett's hand and they darted toward the
oversized field; she ran like a gazelle。 He was nearly as graceful and
just as fast — yet Emmett could never be pared to a gazelle。
〃Are you ready for some ball?〃 Edward asked; his eyes eager; bright。
I tried to sound appropriately enthusiastic。 〃Go team!〃
He snickered and; after mussing my hair; bounded off after the other two。
His run was more aggressive; a cheetah rather than a gazelle; and he
quickly overtook them。 The grace and power took my breath away。
〃Shall we go down?〃 Esme asked in her soft; melodic voice; and I realized
I was staring openmouthed after him。 I quickly reassembled my expression
and nodded。 Esme kept a few feet between us; and I wondered if she was
still being careful not to frighten me。 She matched her stride to mine
without seeming impatient at the pace。
〃You don't play with them?〃 I asked shyly。
〃No; I prefer to referee — I like keeping them honest;〃 she explained。
〃Do they like to cheat; then?〃
〃Oh yes — you should hear the arguments they get into! Actually; I hope
you don't; you would think they were raised by a pack of wolves。〃
〃You sound like my mom;〃 I laughed; surprised。
She laughed; too。 〃Well; I do think of them as my children in most ways。
I never could get over my mothering instincts — did Edward tell you I had
lost a child?〃
〃No;〃 I murmured; stunned; scrambling to understand what lifetime she was
remembering。
〃Yes; my first and only baby。 He died just a few days after he was born;
the poor tiny thing;〃 she sighed。 〃It broke my heart — that's why I
jumped off the cliff; you know;〃 she added m