1 twilight暮色- 第46部分

I　sighed　in　defeat。　〃A　lot？〃　

〃How　much　do　you　mean　by　'a　lot；'　exactly？〃　

〃Oh　no！〃　I　hung　my　head。　

He　pulled　me　against　his　chest；　softly；　naturally。　

〃Don't　be　selfconscious；〃　he　whispered　in　my　ear。　〃If　I　could　dream　at　
all；　it　would　be　about　you。　And　I'm　not　ashamed　of　it。〃　

Then　we　both　heard　the　sound　of　tires　on　the　brick　driveway；　saw　the　
headlights　flash　through　the　front　windows；　down　the　hall　to　us。　I　
stiffened　in　his　arms。　

〃Should　your　father　know　I'm　here？〃　he　asked。　

〃I'm　not　sure…〃　I　tried　to　think　it　through　quickly。　

〃Another　time　then…〃　

And　I　was　alone。　

〃Edward！〃　I　hissed。　

I　heard　a　ghostly　chuckle；　then　nothing　else。　

My　father's　key　turned　in　the　door。　

〃Bella？〃　he　called。　It　had　bothered　me　before；　who　else　would　it　be？　
Suddenly　he　didn't　seem　so　far　off　base。　

〃In　here。〃　I　hoped　he　couldn't　hear　the　hysterical　edge　to　my　voice。　I　
grabbed　my　dinner　from　the　microwave　and　sat　at　the　table　as　he　walked　
in。　His　footsteps　sounded　so　noisy　after　my　day　with　Edward。　

〃Can　you　get　me　some　of　that？　I'm　bushed。〃　He　stepped　on　the　heels　of　his　
boots　to　take　them　off；　holding　the　back　of　Edward's　chair　for　support。　

I　took　my　food　with　me；　scarfing　it　down　as　I　got　his　dinner。　It　burned　
my　tongue。　I　filled　two　glasses　with　milk　while　his　lasagna　was　heating；　
and　gulped　mine　to　put　out　the　fire。　As　I　set　the　glass　down；　I　noticed　
the　milk　trembling　and　realized　my　hand　was　shaking。　Charlie　sat　in　the　
chair；　and　the　contrast　between　him　and　its　former　occupant　was　ical。　

〃Thanks；〃　he　said　as　I　placed　his　food　on　the　table。　

〃How　was　your　day？〃　I　asked。　The　words　were　rushed；　I　was　dying　to　escape　
to　my　room。　

〃Good。　The　fish　were　biting…　how　about　you？　Did　you　get　everything　done　
that　you　wanted　to？〃　

〃Not　really　—　it　was　too　nice　out　to　stay　indoors。〃　I　took　another　big　
bite。　

〃It　was　a　nice　day；〃　he　agreed。　What　an　understatement；　I　thought　to　
myself。　

Finished　with　the　last　bite　of　lasagna；　I　lifted　my　glass　and　chugged　the　
remains　of　my　milk。　

Charlie　surprised　me　by　being　observant。　〃In　a　hurry？〃　

〃Yeah；　I'm　tired。　I'm　going　to　bed　early。〃　

〃You　look　kinda　keyed　up；〃　he　noted。　Why；　oh　why；　did　this　have　to　be　his　
night　to　pay　attention？　

〃Do　I？〃　was　all　I　could　manage　in　response。　I　quickly　scrubbed　my　dishes　
clean　in　the　sink；　and　placed　them　upside　down　on　a　dish　towel　to　dry。　

〃It's　Saturday；〃　he　mused。　

I　didn't　respond。　

〃No　plans　tonight？〃　he　asked　suddenly。　

〃No；　Dad；　I　just　want　to　get　some　sleep。〃　

〃None　of　the　boys　in　town　your　type；　eh？〃　He　was　suspicious；　but　trying　
to　play　it　cool。　

〃No；　none　of　the　boys　have　caught　my　eye　yet。〃　I　was　careful　not　to　
overemphasize　the　word　boys　in　my　quest　to　be　truthful　with　Charlie。　

〃I　thought　maybe　that　Mike　Newton…　you　said　he　was　friendly。〃　

〃He's　Just　a　friend；　Dad。〃　

〃Well；　you're　too　good　for　them　all；　anyway。　Wait　till　you　get　to　college　
to　start　looking。〃　Every　father's　dream；　that　his　daughter　will　be　out　of　
the　house　before　the　hormones　kick　in。　

〃Sounds　like　a　good　idea　to　me；〃　I　agreed　as　I　headed　up　the　stairs。　

〃'Night；　honey；〃　he　called　after　me。　No　doubt　he　would　be　listening　
carefully　all　evening；　waiting　for　me　to　try　to　sneak　out。　

〃See　you　in　the　morning；　Dad。〃　See　you　creeping　into　my　room　tonight　at　
midnight　to　check　on　me。　

I　worked　to　make　my　tread　sound　slow　and　tired　as　I　walked　up　the　stairs　
to　my　room。　I　shut　the　door　loud　enough　for　him　to　hear；　and　then　
sprinted　on　my　tiptoes　to　the　window。　I　threw　it　open　and　leaned　out　into　
the　night。　My　eyes　scanned　the　darkness；　the　imperable　shadows　of　the　
trees。　

〃Edward？〃　I　whispered；　feeling　pletely　idiotic。　

The　quiet；　laughing　response　came　from　behind　me。　〃Yes？〃　

I　whirled；　one　hand　flying　to　my　throat　in　surprise。　

He　lay；　smiling　hugely；　across　my　bed；　his　hands　behind　his　head；　his　
feet　dangling　off　the　end；　the　picture　of　ease。　

〃Oh！〃　I　breathed；　sinking　unsteadily　to　the　floor。　

〃I'm　sorry。〃　He　pressed　his　lips　together；　trying　to　hide　his　amusement。　

〃Just　give　me　a　minute　to　restart　my　heart。〃　

He　sat　up　slowly；　so　as　not　to　startle　me　again。　Then　he　leaned　forward　
and　reached　out　with　his　long　arms　to　pick　me　up；　gripping　the　tops　of　my　
arms　like　I　was　a　toddler。　He　sat　me　on　the　bed　beside　him。　

〃Why　don't　you　sit　with　me；〃　he　suggested；　putting　a　cold　hand　on　mine。　
〃How's　the　heart？〃　

〃You　tell　me　—　I'm　sure　you　hear　it　better　than　I　do。〃　

I　felt　his　quiet　laughter　shake　the　bed。　

We　sat　there　for　a　moment　in　silence；　both　listening　to　my　heartbeat　
slow。　I　thought　about　having　Edward　in　my　room；　with　my　father　in　the　
house。　

〃Can　I　have　a　minute　to　be　human？〃　I　asked。　

〃Certainly。〃　He　gestured　with　one　hand　that　I　should　proceed。　

〃Stay；〃　I　said；　trying　to　look　severe。　

〃Yes；　ma'am。〃　And　he　made　a　show　of　being　a　statue　on　the　edge　of　my　
bed。　

I　hopped　up；　grabbing　my　pajamas　from　off　the　floor；　my　bag　of　toiletries　
off　the　desk。　I　left　the　light　off　and　slipped　out；　closing　the　door。　

I　could　hear　the　sound　from　the　TV　rising　up　the　stairs。　I　banged　the　
bathroom　door　loudly；　so　Charlie　wouldn't　e　up　to　bother　me。　

I　meant　to　hurry。　I　brushed　my　teeth　fiercely；　trying　to　be　thorough　and　
speedy；　removing　all　traces　of　lasagna。　But　the　hot　water　of　the　shower　
couldn't　be　rushed。　It　unknotted　the　muscles　in　my　back；　calmed　my　pulse。　
The　familiar　smell　of　my　shampoo　made　me　feel　like　I　might　be　the　same　
person　I　had　been　this　morning。　I　tried　not　to　think　of　Edward；　sitting　
in　my　room；　waiting；　because　then　I　had　to　start　all　over　with　the　
calming　process。　Finally；　I　couldn't　delay　anymore。　I　shut　off　the　water；　
toweling　hastily；　rushing　again。　I　pulled　on　my　holey　tshirt　and　gray　
sweatpants。　Too　late　to　regret　not　packing　the　Victoria's　Secret　silk　
pajamas　my　mother　got　me　two　birthdays　ago；　which　still　had　the　tags　on　
them　in　a　drawer　somewhere　back　home。　

I　rubbed　the　towel　through　my　hair　again；　and　then　yanked　the　brush　
through　it　quickly。　I　threw　the　towel　in　the　hamper；　flung　my　brush　and　
toothpaste　into　my　bag。　Then　I　dashed　down　the　stairs　so　Charlie　could　
see　that　I　was　in　my　pajamas；　with　wet　hair。　

〃'Night；　Dad。〃　

〃'Night；　Bella。〃　He　did　look　startled　by　my　appearance。　Maybe　that　would　
keep　him　from　checking　on　me　tonight。　

I　took　the　stairs　two　at　a　time；　trying　to　be　quiet；　and　flew　into　my　
room；　closing　the　door　tightly　behind　me。　

Edward　hadn't　moved　a　fraction　of　an　inch；　a　carving　of　Adonis　perched　on　
my　faded　quilt。　I　smiled；　and　his　lips　twitched；　the　statue　ing　to　
life。　

His　eyes　appraised　me；　taking　in　the　damp　hair；　the　tattered　shirt。　He　
raised　one　eyebrow。　〃Nice。〃　

I　grimaced。　

〃No；　it　looks　good　on　you。〃　

〃Thanks；〃　I　whispered。　I　went　back　to　his　side；　sitting　crosslegged　
beside　him。　I　looked　at　the　lines　in　the　wooden　floor。　

〃What　was　all　that　for？〃　

〃Charlie　thinks　I'm　sneaking　out。〃　

〃Oh。〃　He　contemplated　that。　〃Why？〃　As　if　he　couldn't　know　Charlie's　mind　
much　more　clearly　than　I　could　guess。　

〃Apparently；　I　look　a　little　overexcited。〃　

He　lifted　my　chin；　examining　my　face。　

〃You　look　very　warm；　actually。〃　

He　bent　his　face　slowly　to　mine；　laying　his　cool　cheek　against　my　skin。　I　
held　perfectly　still。　

〃Mmmmmm…〃　he　breathed。　

It　was　very　difficult；　while　he　was　touching　me；　to　frame　a　coherent　
question。　It　took　me　a　minute　of　scattered　concentration　to　begin。　

〃It　seems　to　be…　much　easier　for　you；　now；　to　be　close　to　me。〃　

〃Does　it　seem　that　way　to　you？〃　he　murmured；　his　nose　gliding　to　the　
corner　of　my　jaw。　I　felt　his　hand；　lighter　than　a　moth's　wing；　brushing　
my　damp　hair　back；　so　that　his　lips　could　touch　the　hollow　beneath　my　ear。　

〃Much；　much　easier；〃　I　said；　trying　to　exhale。　

〃Hmm。〃　

〃So　I　was　wondering…〃　I　began　again；　but　his　fingers　were　slowly　tracing　
my　collarbone；　and　I　lost　my　train　of　thought。　

〃Yes？〃　he　breathed。　

〃Why　is　that；〃　my　voice　shook；　embarrassing　me；　〃do　you　think？〃　

I　felt　the　tremor　of　his　breath　on　my　neck　as　he　laughed。　〃Mind　over　
matter。〃　

I　pulled　back；　as　I　moved；　he　froze　—　and　I　could　no　longer　hear　the　
sound　of　his　breathing。　

We　stared　cautiously　at　each　other　for　a　moment；　and　then；　as　his　
clenched　jaw　gradually　relaxed；　his　expression　became　puzzled。　

〃Did　I　do　something　wrong？〃　

〃No　—　the　opposite。　You're　driving　me　crazy；〃　I　explained。　

He　considered　that　briefly；　and　when　he　spoke；　he　sounded　pleased。　
〃Really？〃　A　triumphant　smile　slowly　lit　his　face。　

〃Would　you　like　a　round　of　applause？〃　I　asked　sarcastically。　

He　grinned。　

〃I'm　just　pleasantly　surprised；〃　he　clarified。　〃In　the　last　hundred　years　
or　so；〃　his　voice　was　teasing；　〃I　never　imagined　anything　like　this。　I　
didn't　believe　I　would　ever　find　someone　I　wanted　to　be　with…　in　another　
way　than　my　brothers　and　sisters。　And　then　to　find；　even　though　it's　all　
new　to　me；　that　I'm　good　at　it…　at　being　with　you…〃　

〃You're　good　at　everything；〃　I　pointed　out。　

He　shrugged；　allowing　that；　and　we　both　laughed　in　whispers。　

〃But　how　can　it　be