head out the window of an airplane in flight。 And； for the first time in
my life； I felt the dizzy faintness of motion sickness。
Then it was over。 We'd hiked hours this morning to reach Edward's meadow；
and now； in a matter of minutes； we were back to the truck。
〃Exhilarating； isn't it？〃 His voice was high； excited。
He stood motionless； waiting for me to climb down。 I tried； but my
muscles wouldn't respond。 My arms and legs stayed locked around him while
my head spun unfortably。
〃Bella？〃 he asked； anxious now。
〃I think I need to lie down；〃 I gasped。
〃Oh； sorry。〃 He waited for me； but I still couldn't move。
〃I think I need help；〃 I admitted。
He laughed quietly； and gently unloosened my stranglehold on his neck。
There was no resisting the iron strength of his hands。 Then he pulled me
around to face him； cradling me in his arms like a small child。 He held
me for a moment； then carefully placed me on the springy ferns。
〃How do you feel？〃 he asked。
I couldn't be sure how I felt when my head was spinning so crazily。
〃Dizzy； I think。〃
〃Put your head between your knees。〃
I tried that； and it helped a little。 I breathed in and out slowly；
keeping my head very still。 I felt him sitting beside me。 The moments
passed； and eventually I found that I could raise my head。 There was a
hollow ringing sound in my ears。
〃I guess that wasn't the best idea；〃 he mused。
I tried to be positive； but my voice was weak。 〃No； it was very
interesting。〃
〃Hah！ You're as white as a ghost — no； you're as white as me！〃
〃I think I should have closed my eyes。〃
〃Remember that next time。〃
〃Next time！〃 I groaned。
He laughed； his mood still radiant。
〃Showoff；〃 I muttered。
〃Open your eyes； Bella；〃 he said quietly。
And he was right there； his face so close to mine。 His beauty stunned my
mind — it was too much； an excess I couldn't grow accustomed to。
〃I was thinking； while I was running…〃 He paused。
〃About not hitting the trees； I hope。〃
〃Silly Bella；〃 he chuckled。 〃Running is second nature to me； it's not
something I have to think about。〃
〃Showoff；〃 I muttered again。
He smiled。
〃No；〃 he continued； 〃I was thinking there was something I wanted to try。〃
And he took my face in his hands again。
I couldn't breathe。
He hesitated — not in the normal way； the human way。
Not the way a man might hesitate before he kissed a woman； to gauge her
reaction； to see how he would be received。 Perhaps he would hesitate to
prolong the moment； that ideal moment of anticipation； sometimes better
than the kiss itself。
Edward hesitated to test himself； to see if this was safe； to make sure
he was still in control of his need。
And then his cold； marble lips pressed very softly against mine。
What neither of us was prepared for was my response。
Blood boiled under my skin； burned in my lips。 My breath came in a wild
gasp。 My fingers knotted in his hair； clutching him to me。 My lips parted
as I breathed in his heady scent。
Immediately I felt him turn to unresponsive stone beneath my lips。 His
hands gently； but with irresistible force； pushed my face back。 I opened
my eyes and saw his guarded expression。
〃Oops；〃 I breathed。
〃That's an understatement。〃
His eyes were wild； his jaw clenched in acute restraint； yet he didn't
lapse from his perfect articulation。 He held my face just inches from
his。 He dazzled my eyes。
〃Should I… ？〃 I tried to disengage myself； to give him some room。
His hands refused to let me move so much as an inch。
〃No； it's tolerable。 Wait for a moment； please。〃 His voice was polite；
controlled。
I kept my eyes on his； watched as the excitement in them faded and
gentled。
Then he smiled a surprisingly impish grin。
〃There；〃 he said； obviously pleased with himself。
〃Tolerable？〃 I asked。
He laughed aloud。 〃I'm stronger than I thought。 It's nice to know。〃
〃I wish I could say the same。 I'm sorry。〃
〃You are only human； after all。〃
〃Thanks so much；〃 I said； my voice acerbic。
He was on his feet in one of his lithe； almost invisibly quick movements。
He held out his hand to me； an unexpected gesture。 I was so used to our
standard of careful noncontact。 I took his icy hand； needing the support
more than I thought。 My balance had not yet returned。
〃Are you still faint from the run？ Or was it my kissing expertise？〃 How
lighthearted； how human he seemed as he laughed now； his seraphic face
untroubled。 He was a different Edward than the one I had known。 And I
felt all the more besotted by him。 It would cause me physical pain to be
separated from him now。
〃I can't be sure； I'm still woozy；〃 I managed to respond。 〃I think it's
some of both； though。〃
〃Maybe you should let me drive。〃
〃Are you insane？〃 I protested。
〃I can drive better than you on your best day；〃 he teased。 〃You have much
slower reflexes。〃
〃I'm sure that's true； but I don't think my nerves； or my truck； could
take it。〃
〃Some trust； please； Bella。〃
My hand was in my pocket； curled tightly around the key。 I pursed my
lips； deliberated； then shook my head with a tight grin。
〃Nope。 Not a chance。〃
He raised his eyebrows in disbelief。
I started to step around him； heading for the driver's side。 He might
have let me pass if I hadn't wobbled slightly。 Then again； he might not
have。 His arm created an inescapable snare around my waist。
〃Bella； I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this
point to keep you alive。 I'm not about to let you behind the wheel of a
vehicle when you can't even walk straight。 Besides； friends don't let
friends drive drunk；〃 he quoted with a chuckle。 I could smell the
unbearably sweet fragrance ing off his chest。
〃Drunk？〃 I objected。
〃You're intoxicated by my very presence。〃 He was grinning that playful
smirk again。
〃I can't argue with that；〃 I sighed。 There was no way around it； I
couldn't resist him in anything。 I held the key high and dropped it；
watching his hand flash like lightning to catch it soundlessly。 〃Take it
easy — my truck is a senior citizen。〃
〃Very sensible；〃 he approved。
〃And are you not affected at all？〃 I asked； irked。 〃By my presence？〃
Again his mobile features transformed； his expression became soft； warm。
He didn't answer at first； he simply bent his face to mine； and brushed
his lips slowly along my jaw； from my ear to my chin； back and forth。 I
trembled。
〃Regardless；〃 he finally murmured； 〃I have better reflexes。〃
===========================================================================
14。 MIND OVER MATTER
He could drive well； when he kept the speed reasonable； I had to admit。
Like so many things； it seemed to be effortless to him。 He barely looked
at the road； yet the tires never deviated so much as a centimeter from
the center of the lane。 He drove onehanded； holding my hand on the seat。
Sometimes he gazed into the setting sun； sometimes he glanced at me — my
face； my hair blowing out the open window； our hands twined together。
He had turned the radio to an oldies station； and he sang along with a
song I'd never heard。 He knew every line。
〃You like fifties music？〃 I asked。
〃Music in the fifties was good。 Much better than the sixties； or the
seventies； ugh！〃 He shuddered。 〃The eighties were bearable。〃
〃Are you ever going to tell me how old you are？〃 I asked； tentative； not
wanting to upset his buoyant humor。
〃Does it matter much？〃 His smile； to my relief； remained unclouded。
〃No； but I still wonder…〃 I grimaced。 〃There's nothing like an unsolved
mystery to keep you up at night。〃
〃I wonder if it will upset you；〃 he reflected to himself。 He gazed into
the sun； the minutes passed。
〃Try me；〃 I finally said。
He sighed； and then looked into my eyes； seeming to forget the road
pletely for a time。 Whatever he saw there must have encouraged him。 He
looked into the sun — the light of the setting orb glittered off his skin
in rubytinged sparkles — and spoke。
〃I was born in Chicago in 1901。〃 He paused and glanced at me from the
corner of his eyes。 My face was carefully unsurprised； patient for the
rest。 He smiled a tiny smile and continued。 〃Carlisle found me in a
hospital in the summer of 1918。 I was seventeen； and dying of the Spanish
influenza。〃
He heard my intake of breath； though it was barely audible to my own
ears。 He looked down into my eyes again。
〃I don't remember it well — it was a very long time ago； and human
memories fade。〃 He was lost in his thoughts for a short time before he
went on。 〃I do remember how it felt； when Carlisle saved me。 It's not an
easy thing； not something you could forget。〃
〃Your parents？〃
〃They had already died from the disease。 I was alone。 That was why he
chose me。 In all the chaos of the epidemic； no one would ever realize I
was gone。〃
〃How did he… save you？〃
A few seconds passed before he answered。 He seemed to choose his words
carefully。
〃It was difficult。 Not many of us have the restraint necessary to
acplish it。 But Carlisle has always been t