《1 twilight暮色》

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1 twilight暮色- 第33部分


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I tried to remember how to exhale。 I had to look away before it came back 
to me。 

〃You're doing it again;〃 I muttered。 

His eyes opened wide with surprise。 〃What?〃 

〃Dazzling me;〃 I admitted; trying to concentrate as I looked back at him。 

〃Oh。〃 He frowned。 

〃It's not your fault;〃 I sighed。 〃You can't help it。〃 

〃Are you going to answer the question?〃 

I looked down。 〃Yes。〃 

〃Yes; you are going to answer; or yes; you really think that?〃 He was 
irritated again。 

〃Yes; I really think that。〃 I kept my eyes down on the table; my eyes 
tracing the pattern of the faux wood grains printed on the laminate。 The 
silence dragged on。 I stubbornly refused to be the first to break it this 
time; fighting hard against the temptation to peek at his expression。 

Finally he spoke; voice velvet soft。 〃You're wrong。〃 

I glanced up to see that his eyes were gentle。 

〃You can't know that;〃 I disagreed in a whisper。 I shook my head in 
doubt; though my heart throbbed at his words and I wanted so badly to 
believe them。 

〃What makes you think so?〃 His liquid topaz eyes were perating — 
trying futilely; I assumed; to lift the truth straight from my mind。 

I stared back; struggling to think clearly in spite of his face; to find 
some way to explain。 As I searched for the words; I could see him getting 
impatient; frustrated by my silence; he started to scowl。 I lifted my 
hand from my neck; and held up one finger。 

〃Let me think;〃 I insisted。 His expression cleared; now that he was 
satisfied that I was planning to answer。 I dropped my hand to the table; 
moving my left hand so that my palms were pressed together。 I stared at 
my hands; twisting and untwisting my fingers; as I finally spoke。 

〃Well; aside from the obvious; sometimes…〃 I hesitated。 〃I can't be sure 
— I don't know how to read minds — but sometimes it seems like you're 
trying to say goodbye when you're saying something else。〃 That was the 
best I could sum up the sensation of anguish that his words triggered in 
me at times。 

〃Perceptive;〃 he whispered。 And there was the anguish again; surfacing as 
he confirmed my fear。 〃That's exactly why you're wrong; though;〃 he began 
to explain; but then his eyes narrowed。 〃What do you mean; 'the obvious'?〃 

〃Well; look at me;〃 I said; unnecessarily as he was already staring。 〃I'm 
absolutely ordinary — well; except for bad things like all the neardeath 
experiences and being so clumsy that I'm almost disabled。 And look at 
you。〃 I waved my hand toward him and all his bewildering perfection。 

His brow creased angrily for a moment; then smoothed as his eyes took on 
a knowing look。 〃You don't see yourself very clearly; you know。 I'll 
admit you're deadon about the bad things;〃 he chuckled blackly; 〃but you 
didn't hear what every human male in this school was thinking on your 
first day。〃 

I blinked; astonished。 〃I don't believe it…〃 I mumbled to myself。 

〃Trust me just this once — you are the opposite of ordinary。〃 

My embarrassment was much stronger than my pleasure at the look that came 
into his eyes when he said this。 I quickly reminded him of my original 
argument。 

〃But I'm not saying goodbye;〃 I pointed out。 

〃Don't you see? That's what proves me right。 I care the most; because if 
I can do it〃 — he shook his head; seeming to struggle with the thought — 
〃if leaving is the right thing to do; then I'll hurt myself to keep from 
hurting you; to keep you safe。〃 

I glared。 〃And you don't think I would do the same?〃 

〃You'd never have to make the choice。〃 

Abruptly; his unpredictable mood shifted again; a mischievous; 
devastating smile rearranged his features。 〃Of course; keeping you safe 
is beginning to feel like a fulltime occupation that requires my 
constant presence。〃 

〃No one has tried to do away with me today;〃 I reminded him; grateful for 
the lighter subject。 I didn't want him to talk about goodbyes anymore。 If 
I had to; I supposed I could purposefully put myself in danger to keep 
him close… I banished that thought before his quick eyes read it on my 
face。 That idea would definitely get me in trouble。 

〃Yet;〃 he added。 

〃Yet;〃 I agreed; I would have argued; but now I wanted him to be 
expecting disasters。 

〃I have another question for you。〃 His face was still casual。 

〃Shoot。〃 

〃Do you really need to go to Seattle this Saturday; or was that just an 
excuse to get out of saying no to all your admirers?〃 

I made a face at the memory。 〃You know; I haven't forgiven you for the 
Tyler thing yet;〃 I warned him。 〃It's your fault that he's deluded 
himself into thinking I'm going to prom with him。〃 

〃Oh; he would have found a chance to ask you without me — I just really 
wanted to watch your face;〃 he chuckled; I would have been angrier if his 
laughter wasn't so fascinating。 〃If I'd asked you; would you have turned 
me down?〃 he asked; still laughing to himself。 

〃Probably not;〃 I admitted。 〃But I would have canceled later — faked an 
illness or a sprained ankle。〃 

He was puzzled。 〃Why would you do that?〃 

I shook my head sadly。 〃You've never seen me in Gym; I guess; but I would 
have thought you would understand。〃 

〃Are you referring to the fact that you can't walk across a flat; stable 
surface without finding something to trip over?〃 

〃Obviously。〃 

〃That wouldn't be a problem。〃 He was very confident。 〃It's all in the 
leading。〃 He could see that I was about to protest; and he cut me off。 
〃But you never told me — are you resolved on going to Seattle; or do you 
mind if we do something different?〃 

As long as the 〃we〃 part was in; I didn't care about anything else。 

〃I'm open to alternatives;〃 I allowed。 〃But I do have a favor to ask。〃 

He looked wary; as he always did when I asked an openended question。 
〃What?〃 

〃Can I drive?〃 

He frowned。 〃Why?〃 

〃Well; mostly because when I told Charlie I was going to Seattle; he 
specifically asked if I was going alone and; at the time; I was。 If he 
asked again; I probably wouldn't lie; but I don't think he will ask 
again; and leaving my truck at home would just bring up the subject 
unnecessarily。 And also; because your driving frightens me。〃 

He rolled his eyes。 〃Of all the things about me that could frighten you; 
you worry about my driving。〃 He shook his head in disgust; but then his 
eyes were serious again。 〃Won't you want to tell your father that you're 
spending the day with me?〃 There was an undercurrent to his question that 
I didn't understand。 

〃With Charlie; less is always more。〃 I was definite about that。 〃Where 
are we going; anyway?〃 

〃The weather will be nice; so I'll be staying out of the public eye… and 
you can stay with me; if you'd like to。〃 Again; he was leaving the choice 
up to me。 

〃And you'll show me what you meant; about the sun?〃 I asked; excited by 
the idea of unraveling another of the unknowns。 

〃Yes。〃 He smiled; and then paused。 〃But if you don't want to be… alone 
with me; I'd still rather you didn't go to Seattle by yourself。 I shudder 
to think of the trouble you could find in a city that size。〃 

I was miffed。 〃Phoenix is three times bigger than Seattle — just in 
population。 In physical size —〃 

〃But apparently;〃 he interrupted me; 〃your number wasn't up in Phoenix。 
So I'd rather you stayed near me。〃 His eyes did that unfair smoldering 
thing again。 

I couldn't argue; with the eyes or the motivation; and it was a moot 
point anyway。 〃As it happens; I don't mind being alone with you。〃 

〃I know;〃 he sighed; brooding。 〃You should tell Charlie; though。〃 

〃Why in the world would I do that?〃 

His eyes were suddenly fierce。 〃To give me some small incentive to bring 
you back。〃 

I gulped。 But; after a moment of thought; I was sure。 〃I think I'll take 
my chances。〃 

He exhaled angrily; and looked away。 

〃Let's talk about something else;〃 I suggested。 

〃What do you want to talk about?〃 he asked。 He was still annoyed。 

I glanced around us; making sure we were well out of anyone's hearing。 As 
I cast my eyes around the room; I caught the eyes of his sister; Alice; 
staring at me。 The others were looking at Edward。 I looked away swiftly; 
back to him; and I。 asked the first thing that came to mind。 

〃Why did you go to that Goat Rocks place last weekend… to hunt? Charlie 
said it wasn't a good place to hike; because of bears。〃 

He stared at me as if I was missing something very obvious。 

〃Bears?〃 I gasped; and he smirked。 〃You know; bears are not in season;〃 I 
added sternly; to hide my shock。 

〃If you read carefully; the laws only cover hunting with weapons;〃 he 
informed me。 

He watched my face with enjoyment as that slowly sank in。 

〃Bears?〃 I repeated with difficulty。 

〃Grizzly is Emmett's favorite。〃 His voice was still offhand; but his eyes 
were scrutinizing my reaction。 I tried to pull myself together。 

〃Hmmm;〃 I said; taking another bite of pizza as an excuse to look down。 I 
chewed slowly; and then took a long drink of Coke without looking up。 

〃So;〃 I said after a moment; finally meeting his nowanxious gaze。 
〃What's your favorite?〃 

He raised an eyebrow
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