men with dark faces—from La Push； the Quileute Indian reservation down on the coastline； I
guessed—Sam Uley among them； were standing very close together and staring at me。 Mr。 Newton was
there with Mike and Mr。 Weber； Angela's father； they all were watching me more surreptitiously than the
strangers。 Other deep voices rumbled from the kitchen and outside the front door。 Half the town must
have been looking for me。
Charlie was the closest。 He leaned in to hear my answer。
〃Yes；〃 I whispered。 〃I got lost。〃
The doctor nodded； thoughtful； his fingers probing gently against the glands under my jaw。 Charlie's face
hardened。
〃Do you feel tired？〃 Dr。 Gerandy asked。
I nodded and closed my eyes obediently。
〃I don't think there's anything wrong with her；〃 I heard the doctor mutter to Charlie after a moment。 〃Just
exhaustion。 Let her sleep it off； and I'll e check on her tomorrow；〃 he paused。 He must have looked
at his watch； because he added； 〃Well； later today actually。〃
There was a creaking sound as they both pushed off from the couch to get to their feet。
〃Is it true？〃 Charlie whispered。 Their voices were farther away now。 I strained to hear。 〃Did they leave？〃
〃Dr。 Cullen asked us not to say anything；〃 Dr。 Gerandy answered。 〃The offer was very sudden； they had
to choose immediately。 Carlisle didn't want to make a big production out of leaving。〃
〃A little warning might have been nice；〃 Charlie grumbled。
Dr。 Gerandy sounded unfortable when he replied。 〃Yes； well； in this situation； some warning might
have been called for。〃
I didn't want to listen anymore。 I felt around for the edge of the quilt someone had laid on top of me； and
pulled it over my ear。
I drifted in and out of alertness。 I heard Charlie whisper thanks to the volunteers as； one by one； they left。
I felt his fingers on my forehead； and then the weight of another blanket。 The phone rang a few times； and
he hurried to catch it before it could wake me。 He muttered reassurances in a low voice to the callers。
〃Yeah； we found her。 She's okay。 She got lost。 She's fine now；〃 he said again and again。
I heard the springs in the armchair groan when he settled himself in for the night。
A few minutes later； the phone rang again。
Charlie moaned as he struggled to his feet； and then he rushed； stumbling； to the kitchen I pulled my head
deeper under the blankets； not wanting to listen to the same conversation again。
〃Yeah；〃 Charlie said； and yawned。
His voice changed； it was much more alert when he spoke again。 〃Where？'〃 There was a pause。 〃You're
sure it's outside the reservation？〃 Another short pause。 〃But what could be burning out there？〃 He
sounded both worried and mystified。 〃Look； I'll call down there and check it out。〃
I listened with more interest as he punched in a number。
〃Hey； Billy； it's Charlie—sorry I'm calling so early… no； she's fine。 She's sleeping… Thanks； but that's
not why I called。 I just got a call from Mrs。 Stanley； and she says that from her secondstory window she
can see fires out on the sea cliffs； but I didn't really… Oh！〃 Suddenly there was an edge in his
voice—irritation… or anger。 〃And why are they doing that？ Uh huh。 Really？〃 He said it sarcastically。
〃Well； don't apologize to me。 Yeah； yeah。 Just make sure the flames don't spread… I know； I know； I'm
surprised they got them lit at all in this weather。〃
Charlie hesitated； and then added grudgingly。 〃Thanks for sending Sam and the other boys up。 You were
right—they do know the forest better than we do。 It was Sam who found her； so I owe you one… Yeah；
I'll talk to you later；〃 he agreed； still sour； before hanging up。
Charlie muttered something incoherent as he shuffled back to the living room。
〃What's wrong？〃 I asked。
He hurried to my side。
〃I'm sorry I woke you； honey。〃
〃Is something burning？〃
〃It's nothing；〃 he assured me。 〃Just some bonfires out on the cliffs。〃
〃Bonfires？〃 I asked。 My voice didn't sound curious。 It sounded dead。
Charlie frowned。 〃Some of the kids from the reservation being rowdy；〃 he explained。
〃Why？〃 I wondered dully。
I could tell he didn't want to answer。 He looked at the floor under his knees。 〃They're celebrating the
news。〃 His tone was bitter。
There was only one piece of news I could think of； try as I might not to。 And then the pieces snapped
together。 〃Because the Cullens left；〃 I whispered。 〃They don't like the Cullens in La Push—I'd forgotten
about that。〃
The Quileutes had their superstitions about the 〃cold ones；〃 the blooddrinkers that were enemies to their
tribe； just like they had their legends of the great flood and wolfmen ancestors。 Just stories； folklore； to
most of them。 Then there were the few that believed。 Charlie's good friend Billy Black believed； though
even Jacob； his own son； thought he was full of stupid superstitions。 Billy had warned me to stay away
from the Cullens…
The name stirred something inside me； something that began to claw its way toward the surface；
something I knew I didn't want to face。
〃It's ridiculous；〃 Charlie spluttered。
We sat in silence for a moment。 The sky was no longer black outside the window。 Somewhere behind
the rain； the sun was beginning to rise。
〃Bella？〃 Charlie asked。
I looked at him uneasily。
〃He left you alone in the woods？〃 Charlie guessed。
I deflected his question。 〃How did you know where to find me？〃 My mind shied away from the inevitable
awareness that was ing； ing quickly now。
〃Your note；〃 Charlie answered。 surprised。 He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a
muchabused piece of paper。 It was dirty and damp； with multiple creases from being opened and
refolded many times。 He unfolded it again； and held it up as evidence。 The messy handwriting was
remarkably close to my own。
Going for a walk with Edward； up the path； it said。 Back soon； B。
〃When you didn't e back； I called the Cullens； and no one answered；〃 Charlie said in a low voice。
〃Then I called the hospital； and Dr。 Gerandy told me that Carlisle was gone。〃
〃Where did they go？〃 I mumbled。
He stared at me。 〃Didn't Edward tell you？〃
I shook my head； recoiling。 The sound of his name unleashed the thing that was clawing inside of me—a
pain that knocked me breathless； astonished me with its force。
Charlie eyed me doubtfully as he answered。 〃Carlisle took a job with a big hospital in Los Angeles。 I
guess they threw a lot of money at him。〃
Sunny L。A。 The last place they would really go。 I remembered my nightmare with the mirror… the bright
sunlight shimmering off of his skin—
Agony ripped through me with the memory of his face。
〃I want to know if Edward left you alone out there in the middle of the woods；〃 Charlie insisted。
His name sent another wave of torture through me。 I shook my head； frantic； desperate to escape the
pain。 〃It was my fault。 He left me right here on the trail； in sight of the house… but I tried to follow him。〃
Charlie started to say something； childishly； I covered my ears。 〃I can't talk about this anymore； Dad。 I
want to go to my room。〃
Before he could answer； I scrambled up from the couch and lurched my way up the stairs。
Someone had been in the house to leave a note for Charlie； a note that would lead him to find me。 From
the minute that I'd realized this； a horrible suspicion began to grow in my head。 I rushed to my room；
shutting and locking the door behind me before I ran to the CD player by my bed。
Everything looked exactly the same as I'd left it。 I pressed down on the top of the CD player。 The latch
unhooked； and the lid slowly swung open。
It was empty。
The album Renee had given me sat on the floor beside the bed； just where I'd put it last。 I lifted the cover
with a shaking hand。
I didn't have to flip any farther than the first page。 The little metal corners no longer held a picture in
place。 The page was blank except for my own handwriting scrawled across the bottom： Edward Cullen；
Charlie's kitchen； Sept。 13th。
I stopped there。 I was sure that he would have been very thorough。
It will be as if I'd never existed； he'd promised me。
I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees； and then the palms of my hands； and then it was
pressed against the skin of my cheek。 I hoped that I was fainting； but； to my disappointment； I didn't lose
consciousness。 The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed
over my head； pulling me under。
I did not resurface。
OCTOBER
NOVEMBER
DECEMBER
JANUARY
4。 WAKING UP
TIME PASSES。 EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE。 EVEN when each tick of the second hand
aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise。 It passes unevenly； in strange lurches and dragging lulls； but
pass it does。 Even for me。
CHARLIE'S FIST CAME DOWN ON THE TABLE。 〃THAT'S IT； Bella！ I'm sending you home。〃
I looked up from my cereal； which I was pondering rather than eating； and stared at Charlie in shock。 I
hadn't been following the conversation—actually； I hadn't been aware that we were ha