《红字-the scarlet letter(英文版)》

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红字-the scarlet letter(英文版)- 第8部分


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e。 It went with me on my sea…shore walks; andrambles into the country; whenever… which was seldom andreluctantly… I bestirred myself to seek that invigorating charm ofNature; which used to give me such freshness and activity ofthought; the moment that I stepped across the threshold of the OldManse。 The same torpor; as regarded the capacity for intellectualeffort; acpanied me home; and weighed upon me in the chamberwhich I most absurdly termed my study。 Nor did it quit me; when;late at night; I sat in the deserted parlour; lighted only by theglimmering coal…fire and the moon; striving to picture forth imaginaryscenes; which; the next day; might flow out on the brightening page inmany…hued description。  If the imaginative faculty refused to act at such an hour; itmight well be deemed a hopeless case。 Moonlight; in a familiar room;falling so white upon the carpet; and showing all its figures sodistinctly… making every object so minutely visible; yet so unlike amorning or noontide visibility… is a medium the most suitable for aromance…writer to get acquainted with his illusive guests。 There isthe little domestic scenery of the well…known apartment; the chairs;with each its separate individuality; the centre…table; sustaining aworkbasket; a volume or two; and an extinguished lamp; the sofa; thebookcase; the picture on the wall… all these details; so pletelyseen; are so spiritualised by the unusual light; that they seem tolose their actual substance; and bee things of intellect。 Nothingis too small or too trifling to undergo this change; and acquiredignity thereby。 A child's shoe; the doll; seated in her little wickercarriage; the hobby…horse… whatever; in a word; has been used orplayed with; during the day; is now invested with a quality ofstrangeness and remoteness; though still almost as vividly present asby daylight。 Thus; therefore; the floor of our familiar room hasbee a neutral territory; somewhere between the real world andfairyland; where the Actual and the Imaginary may meet; and each imbueitself with the nature of the other。 Ghosts might enter here withoutaffrighting us。 It would be too much in keeping with the scene toexcite surprise; were we to look about us and discover a form;beloved; but gone hence; now sitting quietly in a streak of this magicmoonshine; with an aspect that would make us doubt whether it hadreturned from afar; or had never once stirred from our fireside。  The somewhat dim coal…fire has an essential influence in producingthe effect which I would describe。 It throws its unobtrusive tingethroughout the room; with a faint ruddiness upon the walls andceiling; and a reflected gleam from the polish of the furniture。This warmer light mingles itself with the cold spirituality of themoonbeams; and municates; as it were; a heart and sensibilitiesof human tenderness to the forms which fancy summons up。 It convertsthem from snow…images into men and women。 Glancing at thelooking…glass; we behold… deep within its haunted verge… thesmouldering glow of the half…extinguished anthracite; the whitemoonbeams on the floor; and a repetition of all the gleam and shadowof the picture; with one remove farther from the actual; and nearer tothe imaginative。 Then; at such an hour; and with this scene beforehim; if a man; sitting all alone; cannot dream strange things; andmake them look like truth; he need never try to write romances。  But; for myself; during the whole of my Custom…House experience;moonlight and sunshine; and the glow of firelight; were just alikein my regard; and neither of them was of one whit more avail thanthe twinkle of a tallow…candle。 An entire class of susceptibilities;and a gift connected with them… of no great richness or value; but thebest I had… was gone from me。  It is my belief; however; that; had I attempted a different order ofposition; my faculties would not have been found so pointless andinefficacious。 I might; for instance; have contented myself withwriting out the narratives of a veteran shipmaster; one of theInspectors; whom I should be most ungrateful not to mention; sincescarcely a day passed that he did not stir me to laughter andadmiration by his marvellous gifts as a story…teller。 Could I havepreserved the picturesque force of his style; and the humorouscolouring which nature taught him how to throw over hisdescriptions; the result; I honestly believe; would have beensomething new in literature。 Or I might readily have found a moreserious task。 It was a folly; with the materiality of this dailylife pressing so intrusively upon me; to attempt to fling myselfback into another age; or to insist on creating the semblance of aworld out of airy matter; when; at every moment; the impalpable beautyof my soap…bubble was broken by the rude contact of some actualcircumstance。 The wiser effort would have been; to diffuse thought andimagination through the opaque substance of to…day; and thus to makeit a bright transparency; to spiritualise the burden that began toweigh so heavily; to seek; resolutely; the true and indestructiblevalue that lay hidden in the petty and wearisome incidents; andordinary characters; with which I was now conversant。 The fault wasmine。 The page of life that was spread out before me seemed dull andmonplace; only because I had not fathomed its deeper import。 Abetter book than I shall ever write was there; leaf after leafpresenting itself to me; just as it was written out by the realityof the flitting hour; and vanishing as fast as written; only becausemy brain wanted the insight and my hand the cunning to transcribeit。 At some future day; it may be; I shall remember a few scatteredfragments and broken paragraphs; and write them down; and find theletters turn to gold upon the page。  These perceptions have e too late。 At the instant; I was onlyconscious that what would have been a pleasure once was now a hopelesstoil。 There was no occasion to make much moan about this state ofaffairs。 I had ceased to be a writer of tolerably poor tales andessays; and had bee a tolerably good Surveyor of the Customs。That was all。 But; nevertheless; it is anything but agreeable to behaunted by a suspicion that one's intellect is dwindling away; orexhaling; without your consciousness; like ether out of a phial; sothat; at every glance; you find a smaller and less volatileresiduum。 Of the fact there could be no doubt; and; examining myselfand others; I was led to conclusions; in reference to the effect ofpublic office on the character; not very favourable to the mode oflife in question。 In some other form; perhaps; I may hereafter developthese effects。 Suffice it here to say; that a Custom…House officer; oflong continuance; can hardly be a very praiseworthy or respectablepersonage; for many reasons; one of them; the tenure by which he holdshis situation; and another; the very nature of his business; which…though; I trust; an honest one… is of such a sort that he does notshare in the united effort of mankind。  An effect… which I believe to be observable; more or less; inevery individual who has occupied the position… is; that; while heleans on the mighty arm of the Republic; his own proper strengthdeparts from him。 He loses; in an extent proportioned to theweakness or force of his original nature; the capability ofself…support。 If he possess an unusual share of native energy; orthe enervating magic of place do not operate too long upon him; hisforfeited powers may be redeemable。 The ejected officer… fortunatein the unkindly shove that sends him forth betimes; to struggle amid astruggling world… may return to himself; and bee all that he hasever been。 But this seldom happens。 He usually keeps his ground justlong enough for his own ruin; and is then thrust out; with sinewsall unstrung; to totter along the difficult footpath of life as hebest may。 Conscious of his own infirmity… that his tempered steeland elasticity are lost… he forever afterwards looks wistfully abouthim in quest of support external to himself。 His pervading andcontinual hope… a hallucination; which; in the face of alldiscouragement; and making light of impossibilities; haunts himwhile he lives; and; I fancy; like the convulsive throes of thecholera; torments him for a brief space after death… is; that finally;and in no long time; by some happy coincidence of circumstances; heshall be restored to office。 This faith; more than anything else;steals the pith and availability out of whatever enterprise he maydream of undertaking。 Why should he toil and moil; and be at so muchtrouble to pick himself up out of the mud; when; in a little whilehence; the strong arm of his Uncle will raise and support him? Whyshould he work for his living here; or go to dig gold in California;when he is so soon to be made happy; at monthly intervals; with alittle pile of glittering coin out of his Uncle's pocket? It issadly curious to observe how slight a taste of office suffices toinfect a poor fellow with this singular disease。 Uncle Sam's gold…meaning no disrespect to the worthy old gentleman… has; in thisrespect; a quality of enchantment like that of the Devil's wages。Whoever touches it should look well to himself; or he may find thebargain to go hard against him; involving; if not his soul; yet manyof its better attributes; its sturdy force; its courage and constanc
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